Thursday, December 12, 2019
When I was a young mother, I had lots of energy. As an old mother, I feel I do not have any energy at all. I remember a friend of mine commenting how vibrant I seemed after the birth of my seven-year-old, Mika. He said, “She makes you feel younger, doesn’t she?” I responded that raising Mika made me feel old, because it was more draining to take care of her.
I was 27 when I was paralyzed and only concerned my two young children would feel left out of common childhood experiences because their mom was in a wheelchair. Every school break we ran the streets. We went to arcades, movies, and many child-friendly businesses long since closed. I was 43 when I had Mika and I still have not taken her to a movie.
Do not get me wrong, Mika and I run the streets in the summer, but I do not want to go out when it is cold anymore. For Thanksgiving break we did a whole lot of hanging at home. We did host a cookie date with three of her friends on one day, however that did not involve me leaving the house. I am taking her out one day for fun during Christmas break and we are hosting a play date. That is the extent of my plans. I am too set in my ways now to be preoccupied with overcompensating as a mother.
Mika has more access to electronic entertainment at home than her older brother and sister had. We have cartoons on demand with Netflix. Mika plays Roblox online and loves YouTube. Mika happily practices her piano. I record videos with Mika for her YouTube channel. We have a good time at home together and age has taught me being together is more important than which arcade you are at.
There two things I wish I could have done with my older daughter, Megan, when she was younger. Megan ran cross-country in high school; she also ran a few races when she was younger. Megan may have found a little more enjoyment in running if she had someone to run with regularly. All the children’s running clubs were in other parts of town (most of which were in wealthy areas not serviced by public transportation) and I did not have the means to get her to practices.
If I did not use a wheelchair, I think running would have been a good bonding experience with Megan. I could have been her running buddy. I did go to the high school track once or twice with Megan to help her work on pacing (I had a wheelchair that went 10 miles an hour and did not get tired), but it is not the same as running a trail together. So far Mika has not shown an interest in any kind of sport; that may change when her dad retires in slightly less than two years and has the time to take her to parks and recreation sports practices and games. We live in a neighborhood with a low number of children, so practices are not held in our area of town.
I have also never pushed Megan on a swing. There were not any accessible playgrounds when Megan was young, and swings always seem to be placed over sand or wood chips (still are at most playgrounds). If Megan wanted to swing, her older brother or dad needed to be with us, or she could not swing. Swinging may not seem that important, however it is the one task I most regret not doing with Megan.
My piece of advice to you is to remember you can occasionally right a wrong. Megan and I were talking a couple of nights ago and I mentioned that I wished I had pushed her on the swings as a child like I was able to do for her little sister. Megan asked me if the swings at the accessible playground would support an adult’s weight. Megan and I will make a trip to the accessible playground this summer so I will be able to push her on a swing for the first time. That will be one regret off my list.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
When I was a young mother, I had lots of energy. As an old mother, I feel I do not have any energy at all. I remember a friend of mine commenting how vibrant I seemed after the birth of my seven-year-old, Mika. He said, “She makes you feel younger, doesn’t she?” I responded that raising Mika made me feel old, because it was more draining to take care of her.
I was 27 when I was paralyzed and only concerned my two young children would feel left out of common childhood experiences because their mom was in a wheelchair. Every school break we ran the streets. We went to arcades, movies, and many child-friendly businesses long since closed. I was 43 when I had Mika and I still have not taken her to a movie.
Do not get me wrong, Mika and I run the streets in the summer, but I do not want to go out when it is cold anymore. For Thanksgiving break we did a whole lot of hanging at home. We did host a cookie date with three of her friends on one day, however that did not involve me leaving the house. I am taking her out one day for fun during Christmas break and we are hosting a play date. That is the extent of my plans. I am too set in my ways now to be preoccupied with overcompensating as a mother.
Mika has more access to electronic entertainment at home than her older brother and sister had. We have cartoons on demand with Netflix. Mika plays Roblox online and loves YouTube. Mika happily practices her piano. I record videos with Mika for her YouTube channel. We have a good time at home together and age has taught me being together is more important than which arcade you are at.
There two things I wish I could have done with my older daughter, Megan, when she was younger. Megan ran cross-country in high school; she also ran a few races when she was younger. Megan may have found a little more enjoyment in running if she had someone to run with regularly. All the children’s running clubs were in other parts of town (most of which were in wealthy areas not serviced by public transportation) and I did not have the means to get her to practices.
If I did not use a wheelchair, I think running would have been a good bonding experience with Megan. I could have been her running buddy. I did go to the high school track once or twice with Megan to help her work on pacing (I had a wheelchair that went 10 miles an hour and did not get tired), but it is not the same as running a trail together. So far Mika has not shown an interest in any kind of sport; that may change when her dad retires in slightly less than two years and has the time to take her to parks and recreation sports practices and games. We live in a neighborhood with a low number of children, so practices are not held in our area of town.
I have also never pushed Megan on a swing. There were not any accessible playgrounds when Megan was young, and swings always seem to be placed over sand or wood chips (still are at most playgrounds). If Megan wanted to swing, her older brother or dad needed to be with us, or she could not swing. Swinging may not seem that important, however it is the one task I most regret not doing with Megan.
My piece of advice to you is to remember you can occasionally right a wrong. Megan and I were talking a couple of nights ago and I mentioned that I wished I had pushed her on the swings as a child like I was able to do for her little sister. Megan asked me if the swings at the accessible playground would support an adult’s weight. Megan and I will make a trip to the accessible playground this summer so I will be able to push her on a swing for the first time. That will be one regret off my list.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.