Thursday, April 9, 2020
My poor computer and Internet have been working overtime lately. I have been up for less than an hour and have already downloaded five video files, am converting five video files, and am currently uploading a file to YouTube. I need to convert some video files before I can edit them because my video editing program does not read the .mov files my clients and volunteers send me that are recorded on iPhones properly. I do not know why those files open as audio only in my program, but if I convert them to a .mp4 file I can edit the files without any trouble. I can convert the files while I am doing other tasks, so it is not a big deal.

I am not the only one tearing up the Internet. I spoke to my youngest sister yesterday, and she told me she now works remotely every day. My sister’s job has been offering over time on Saturdays and even last Sunday, so she is working as much as she can while her state is on a stay-at-home order. My sister’s husband, and his son, who just graduated college, also both can work from home, although the son’s hours are less. Another of my sisters emailed me and said she is also working from home and working less hours.

One good result from these stay-at-home orders could be that more companies offer more people the option to work remotely. I know some employers do not trust their employees to stay on task if they are not directly supervised, and I believe that is true for many people. However, there are a lot of people who are more productive outside of an office environment. When I worked in an office, I never got as much work done in the office as I could from home with a toddler. People in offices want to socialize and have meetings and everyone has a question. The constant interruptions kill productivity.

There are people who find the interruptions at home kill their productivity. Some people cannot separate their home responsibilities from their work responsibilities when they work from home. Some people try to multitask household chores in with their work tasks and we all know multitasking is a myth. If your kids or significant other keep interrupting you or you feel like you should be doing household chores while you are working, create, and follow, a schedule. You can work from 8:00 a.m. through noon with a ten-minute break at 10:00 a.m. to toss laundry or dishes in the washer and answer family questions. Take an hour for lunch, and then work from 1:00 p.m. through 5:00 p.m. with a ten-minute break at 3:00 p.m.

I am finding it a little more difficult to keep my schedule on track, now that more people are in my house on weekdays. The governor of Colorado has not announced it yet, but I am pretty certain my seven-year-old, Mika, will be at home on weekdays until early August. I am supposed to be working extra March, April, and May, so I can focus on Mika for June and July. This is the third week I have had Mika home unexpectedly, and I spend two hours a day focused on getting her to do her schoolwork.

I have been editing a lot of videos these past few weeks, and Mika frequently gets loud when she plays video games. Mika can be loud when I am scheduling emails or social media, but I have trouble hearing my video when she is shouting at the computer screen. Mika tries to be quieter when I tell her she is too loud; however, five or ten minutes later her decibel level starts to creep up again.

My older daughter lost her other two jobs, so she comes later to do my morning care, which means I get up later. Starting my workday later shortens my works hours a little bit more, and I have already given up work time for Mika’s schoolwork. When my significant other ends up with an unexpected day off, I feel a little guilty for not spending time with him (only a little guilty because we cannot leave the house).

My piece of advice to you is to enjoy working at home if that is your current fate. If working at home fits your life and job duties, try to persuade your boss to allow you to continue, at least a day or two each week.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020
We are no longer number one! The first death related to COVID-19 in the state of Colorado was in El Paso county, which is where I live. Until yesterday, the most COVID-19-related deaths were reported in El Paso county every single day. Yesterday, Denver county passed El Paso county by three deaths. That is bad for Denver county, but perhaps the stay-at-home order is starting to work for El Paso county. Maybe the daily death rate will start dropping for all of Colorado.

I have been joking for a while that I had better not catch COVID-19 and need a ventilator because if there is a rationing of ventilators, I will be out of luck. This morning, my older daughter, Megan, asked me to stop talking about it. Megan told me the law of attraction works whether you want it to or not. I had to agree that I do believe in the power of spoken word, that is why I do not read my journal posts out loud for my YouTube channel, I ask volunteers to do that task. I will stop making jokes about dying with COVID-19.

It is another beautiful day in Colorado Springs. I am currently trying to wrangle my seven-year-old, Mika, into doing her schoolwork. Mika could get her schoolwork done in an hour and a half each day, but she fights every step of the way. Mika’s resistance to schoolwork is the biggest reason I am not ready to try an online school for her. Mika is finally doing her 30 minutes of reading, two hours after I asked her the first time. (Thirty-one days left of school.) Mika really does not like to be told what to do. I cannot seem to get her to understand there are rules everywhere, even at home (I still blame Head Start).

Last night I had a dream in which I bought a hard-bound book. I was at an event for artists and authors, and in the dream, I asked someone how this event could be happening because we are not able to congregate in large groups. No one answered me. Somebody asked me why I bought the book, when I am purging items from my home. I explained that books were the one item I was still allowing myself to purchase. Real life controls my dreams many times, and I am very practical in my dreams.

Mika’s dad had to convince her to go on a walk with me. I told Mika we would walk to the convenience store to buy ice cream because she has been asking me for two weeks. Mika’s social distance play date friend was not available, and I thought today would be a good day to find out how many of our immediate area restaurants are still open. We have had Domino’s three weeks in a row, and I wanted to support a locally owned restaurant this week.

Our walk to the convenience store was the carrot that persuaded Mika to finally finish her schoolwork today. Once Mika finished her schoolwork, she started to play with her toys. I asked her if she was ready to get ice cream and she said we could do it another day. She wanted to give her two Barbie dolls a bath. For the record, Mika did not show any interest in dolls until after I donated all the other Barbie dolls when we were clearing out toys. Go figure. I asked Mika several times for the next two hours if she was ready to get ice cream, but she kept telling me no.

When Mika’s dad, Donald, came home, I told him I was going for a walk and leaving Mika at home because I wanted to get supper and she did not want to come. Donald told Mika to go with me, so she did. We ordered our meal and played in front of the restaurant while we waited, and then walked to the convenience store. I think I officially live in the ghetto now. Our local convenience store simply looks run down and dirty inside. I do not know who owns it now, but they are not taking care of it at all.

My piece of advice to you is to enjoy the day. I was going for a walk with or without Mika. The day was too nice to stay inside and not enjoy it.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020
It is a beautiful day today! A clear blue sky and a high of 70 degrees; it is simply fantastic. My seven-year-old, Mika, and I have already taken our walk because we went to the school to pick up her learning packet and a lunch. Mika was disappointed they did not have milk in the lunch, but she was excited to get a hamburger. Tomorrow will be another nice day, and then winter returns. The current forecasted high for Monday is 28 degrees. On the bright side, I do not need to venture out into the real world until next Thursday for my wound care appointment.

Yesterday did not have a fabulous start to it. The local morning news kept repeating the newly released rationing of care guidelines if we were to run out of available ventilators in Colorado. If I get sick and need a ventilator during a rationing period, I will be toast. First responders get first priority, then single parents, then those without preexisting conditions, then parents of young children… Finally! I fit a category. I might get a ventilator if the other choice is a 90-year-old male with heart disease, asthma, prostrate cancer, and one lung... A girl can dream.

Later in the day yesterday, the governor of Colorado announced a two-week extension to our stay-at-home order. An extended stay-at-home order does not bother me, I already work from home, and now I am actually talking to my neighbors. I read an article about how staying home was a luxury, and wealthier households stay home more and started staying home sooner than poorer households. I believe that statistic, to a point. I have a middle-class family, and one family member still works outside the home.

Our income has not really changed, so we are not concerned about paying bills. Several people in our neighborhood are retired, and not experiencing much of a difference in their income either. The same middle-class family in Detroit probably has a laid-off worker from an automobile factory. That family may be staying at home and worrying about paying their mortgage. My family is one of the lucky ones.

I agree there are more “essential” jobs that are held by lower-class workers that require them to leave their home than upper-class workers.  Pharmacists and doctors are generally upper-class, and they are not staying at home. Walmart and Amazon employees are frequently lower class and there are many more of them than pharmacists and doctors. Restaurants, movie theaters, and retail stores laid off millions of lower-class workers that now are likely to be at home. I think industry matters more than class for who stays home. My older daughter is only still working because her third job is in healthcare.

I just got off the phone and I was listening to a town hall meeting hosted by one of my Colorado senators. My senator hosted a tele-town hall meeting before the CARES vote. I pressed the button to ask a question, and when I had been waiting for more than half an hour, I gave up so I could eat my supper. Today the call was earlier in the day, so I decided I would wait as long as necessary to ask my question. I signaled my wish to ask a question within two minutes of connecting to the meeting.

Approximately 40 minutes into the call, the moderator came on the line to ask me my name, city, and question. The moderator told me I had a good question and she would put me in the queue to ask my question. Success! When the moderator quit speaking to me and I could hear the town hall again, the senator wrapped up his call and I was once again Susanne out of luck. 

My piece of advice to you is to keep trying. The senator mentioned in his wrap up that we could leave a voice message at the end of the call, so I waited a few minutes for the system to put me through to leave my question. I will also try again when I get the next tele-town hall meeting call.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Monday, April 6, 2020
My older daughter, Megan, told me this morning how frustrated she gets when people keep asking her about me. I never realized how many people we both know use her to get more information about me. People we both know are not the only problem. Once Megan tells her friends her mom uses a wheelchair because she is a quadriplegic or she has cancer, her friends ask about me nearly every time she talks to them. As Megan was relating her struggles to me, she said, “My mom is not the most interesting thing about me.” I agree. I am awesome, but so is Megan, and she is living her own amazing life.

One of my sisters texted Megan last week asking for my email address. My sister has my phone number, she could have called me. Thursday, I sent an email to my helper, “’I am not feeling well. Please stay home.” My helper texted Megan to see if I was okay. My sister in law texted Megan asking if she was doing okay financially since she lost two of her jobs. Then my sister in law asked Megan if I was homeschooling my seven-year-old, Mika. Megan is annoyed that people who can contact me directly think she is my keeper.

I get it. I am not very forthcoming with information. I type with one knuckle; I am not about to include unnecessary details. I felt like writing, “I am sick. Stay home.” My helper got three extra words. If my helper needed more details, I would have added them. If you think you need more information about me, ask me. I have a phone; I even answer it when I am home. Some people we both know do not want to “bother’ me, so they bother Megan instead. I would be annoyed too. 

I cannot help Megan with people I do not know asking her about me. Megan told me this morning I am not even interesting, and I agreed. It is not like I am Angelina Jolie or Gayle King. I am an average, middle-class mom. I love my life; however, I do not expect to leave a footprint on many people’s hearts once I am gone. I think Megan’s friends are being polite when they ask about me, and it is simply a general, “How is your mom?”, versus grabbing her hand and saying, “Tell me about your mother!” I do not know; I do not live her life or experience her thoughts.

I do not want anyone to live in my shadow. I have six brothers and sisters. Our family moved when I was a junior in high school, so I, and my three younger siblings, graduated from the same school. Since I was the oldest, I was the example. Each of my brothers and sisters had their strengths and weaknesses. My older brother and oldest sister we both athletic and artistic. My next older sister was also athletic. Athleticism was the standard to which I could have been compared, but I was the brain. Nobody expected me to be amazing at running because I was “smart”.

My sister directly younger than me was not so lucky. I was the standard my younger siblings were compared in my new school. My youngest brother and sister did well in school, but my sister below me always struggled. My sister told me, many years later, that one of our teachers asked her why she did not put as much effort into her schoolwork as I had. The teacher told my sister she remembered me taking a big stack of books home to do homework every night.

My sister told that teacher I did, indeed, take a big stack of books home to do homework every night. My sister told that teacher I sat that stack of books on my dressing table every night in case I decided I would do homework that night and I almost never did. I would do my homework on the bus or during the period before it was due. I did not make any real effort to earn my grades, I simply learn new concepts easily.

My piece of advice to you is to focus your attention on your friends. It is okay to ask about someone’s family, but let your spotlight illuminate your amazing friend, even if their mom is Angelina Jolie.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Sunday, April 5, 2020
I know I should not be surprised, but, wow, the words people will write out loud. I get it; sometimes my finger takes its own path and what I told my brain to write does not appear on the page. This happened just yesterday. I was planning to write about an experience I had with a particular program I use; and did not even mention it in the six or seven hundred words I wrote. I started my journal entry on the right track, but I derailed into my political thoughts, not once, but twice.

I watched a story on Sunday Morning before I got out of bed about a columnist for the New York Times. I had never heard of Philip Galanes, and have never read his column, but a comment he made in the interview resonated in my head. I considered writing about that comment today, and then decided I did not have enough elaborative ideas on the subject. My morning Facebook scroll changed my mind.

Mr. Galanes stated he is not an etiquette writer; he advises people with awkward relationships. Mr. Galanes talked about social shaming, especially while dealing with the COVID-19 epidemic, in the interview. The interviewer asks, “Someone buys up all the bread. Do you say something?” Mr. Galanes replies, “Do you want a loaf of bread or are you just being a community policer?” Mr. Galanes further states, “I do not need to police what is right and what is wrong because, for all we know, she is making lunches" to donate.

I do not need to police what is right and what is wrong. The words are so true, yet so hard to implement. In Colorado, many residents called local officials to complain that Hobby Lobby was still open after the stay-at-home executive order was signed, requiring the closure of all non-essential businesses. I thought Hobby Lobby would be required to close, but I do not disagree with their logic claiming they are an essential business. Hobby Lobby sells fabric and craft items people need to make masks and other supplies.

If I do not consider Hobby Lobby an essential business; I am not required to go there. I do not consider a liquor store to be essential, but I am not calling the governor’s office to tell him he made a mistake. Hobby Lobby being open does not affect my health any more than a liquor store remaining open. If you are an employee of Hobby Lobby or a liquor store and do not feel safe working there, I am sure your employer will happily lay you off so you can collect unemployment.

This morning, Facebook, in its infinite wisdom, decided it would not show me the kind messages my friends have been posting, and I have actually been reading in my timeline. Today, I saw two posts from people I know asking if anyone actually knows someone personally that has been diagnosed with COVID-19. One of the posts even went as far as to say, ”and been hospitalized”. The wording in the posts was almost identical, and these two people do not know each other.

I felt like someone had told people the reported COVID-19 numbers are lies, nobody is going to the hospital, and was actively trying to sew distrust in a time when so many people feel vulnerable. I read some of the comments on one of the posts, and my friend wrote replies about being surprised by the number of people who had replied with answers of three or more. He had expected 0 or 1 to be the answer. My friend’s expectation, along with the similarity between the two posts, is why I think someone with influence has decided to police what is right and what is wrong about how the COVID-19 epidemic is affecting our economy, and they have decided staying home is wrong and letting people die preventable deaths is right.

My piece of advice to you is to lock up the Judge Judy in your head. Tomorrow, it will be 70 degrees and I will be going for a walk wearing a mask. Will I tell someone I see without one to go back home? No. I will be at least six feet away from them, so their choice will not affect me. I do not need to police others.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Saturday, April 4, 2020
Some people are simply awesome. I have seen evidence of these people all around me lately. There are people who give of themselves just because they wake up in the morning and think, “How can I help someone today?” I am not one of those people. I do not naturally reach out to help people unless I see a need or am asked. I will help, and I like to help, but I am too wrapped up in my own head to initiate a helping scenario.

I was impressed when I saw the news coverage showing the New England Patriots plane returning from China with personal protection equipment for area hospitals and some for New York City. I do not know anybody who owns any type of plane, let alone a plane capable of international travel, but what a great way to use your wealth to fill a life-saving need. It is unfortunate that in an effort to lower prices for medical equipment and supplies, very little is produced in the United States and none of those savings are ever passed on to the patient.

Personally, I would be okay with the government buying 100 one-million-dollar machines, to keep in idle, production-ready warehouses near Bowen and 3M facilities, so those companies could quickly ramp up production of face masks when the next pandemic strikes (and you know there will be a next one). The government would also need to do the same for other essential medical equipment and supplies. I would like to see $1 billion of the more than $600 billion defense budget rerouted to future health defense.

Let me quit ranting and get back to talking about awesome people. I saw a news story about a seven-year-old boy in Virginia who collected personal protection equipment from hotels to donate to hospitals. I have seen posts from half a dozen of my friends who are sewing masks for others in large quantities. (Yes, the epidemic has forced me to scroll down through at least ten Facebook posts in my timeline every time I log in so I can spy on and interact with my friends. The Horror!)

Many employers are trying to continue to pay their employees who cannot come to work. I hope the transition-to-grant loans the Small Business Administration is authorized to now issue, are a real help to enable employers to keep doing so. The first round of loans to help small business were reported on the news to be less than four percent interest. I took that to mean 3.99%. I think nearly four percent for a disaster loan is too high, and this virus crisis is an economic disaster for many small businesses.

Off track again; back to awesome people. A friend of mine has a husband who, along with all the senior staff at his company, is taking a 20-percent pay cut to be able to keep more lower-level staff. The company did lay off thousands of workers in a division that saw its market evaporate overnight, but it is trying to keep as many people employed as possible. One of my older daughter’s roommates works at a daycare center and only essential workers are bringing their children, so the staff is taking turns working each week.

I have seen news coverage of people making face shields with 3-D printers to donate to medical care workers. I have watched with water in my eyes as the reported infection rate continues to climb for health workers, and they continue to put their lives on the line each day. My helper who is not related to me continues to come help me even though she is in the high-risk of death category also (except Thursday when I told her not to come because I was sick).

My piece of advice to you is to be as awesome as you can, even if that simply means answering the phone when your friend calls wanting to vent about their day, reading your Facebook feed to make sure your friends are okay, putting on a face mask before you walk out your door, or listening to your family when they complain about wearing the mask and handing them the mask anyway.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Friday, April 3, 2020
An overnight snowstorm blanketed Colorado Springs in beautiful, white fluffiness. I saw on the news, while I was still lying in bed, that the north side of town had gotten around six inches of snow. I was expecting to see about an inch of snow at my house when I got up. I was surprised to see a solid three, possibly four, inches of snow in my backyard. I am not going to ask my family to shovel my ramp because I will not be going for a walk until at least Sunday, when the temperature reaches at least 60 degrees again.

My seven-year-old, Mika, woke up in the middle of the night and played with the Paint program on my computer as the snow was falling. I once again came out of my room to find a cute message from Mika on my computer screen. It read, “ho, ho ho. Let it snow.” and Mika drew a little snowflake after the words. This morning Mika told me the note was not for me, so maybe I should punish her this time.

I am feeling a little better today. When I asked my significant other, Donald, if he had any ibuprofen yesterday, He told me his ibuprofen had expired and he had gotten rid of it. Donald told me he had some naproxen if I needed it. I dealt with the combination ear, throat, shoulder pain throughout the day. It only became extreme pain when I laid my wheelchair back for bootie breaks, or had lightheaded episodes, spasms, or burps.

I put on my high threshold for pain panties and waited until I was ready to go to bed to take the pain reliever. Getting in bed was as bad as I feared. Every movement caused crazy amounts of pain, but once I was stationary, the pain receded back to intense instead of unbearable. I fell asleep during the premier of Broke on CBS and woke up again a few minutes before 10:00 p.m. The naproxen was working! I was not in any pain at all. I fell back asleep, and when I woke up at 4:00 a.m. there was still not any pain.

Donald told me I could take two pills, and when my older daughter, Megan, read the instructions on the bottle, they said you could take two pills for your first dose and then one pill every 10 to 12 hours thereafter, but you are not to exceed three pills in a twenty-four hour period. Megan could see the pain on my face and asked if I wanted to take two pills. I do not like to take pain pills. I need to be hurting very badly to break down and take a pill. I told Megan one would be enough, and I was right.

The naproxen really does work for nearly twelve hours for me. I took the pill last night at a few minutes after 8:00 p.m. I started feeling the pain creeping in slowly at 6:30 a.m. this morning. The pain started becoming uncomfortable at 7:30 a.m. When Megan asked me if I wanted another pill this morning, I told her no. I made it through yesterday’s pain while sitting up and do not plan to take another pill until tonight. The pain is much less intense today, but I know it will be bad again when I am laying down. I wish I would stop burping until I am better, even my chest hurts a little when I burp.

When I was watching the local news this morning, they said our public transit was making changes to our service. I was thinking, “But I just checked the website yesterday, now I will need to do it again.” The reporter said the transit system was asking people to board from the back of the bus for the safety of the drivers, practice personal space as much as possible, and only take necessary trips. My first thought was that riders would still need to go to the front of the bus by the driver to pay, and then the reporter said bus rides will be free for the foreseeable future.

My piece of advice to you is to look for the perks in a crisis. When I go to my wound care appointment in two weeks, I can leave my bus pass in its holder and because I use a wheelchair, I still get to board the bus from the front. Four-wheel privilege strikes again!

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Thursday, April 2, 2020
I feel awful today. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and my day has gone downhill since. My chest has felt a little heavy since Monday. I have also had a tiny cough. I might cough once an hour and the cough seemed to be related to my body trying to clear junk out of my lungs. Yesterday, I noticed my throat and ear were starting to hurt. This morning, as I lay in bed, my ear and throat were hurting more, and my shoulders and upper back were hurting also.

I called my older daughter, Megan, at 6:30 a.m. because the pain was starting to get very intense. I asked Megan to come at 7:00 a.m. instead of 7:30 a.m. to see if getting me into my wheelchair, and into a new position, would help alleviate some of the pain without drugs. Since Megan has not been working her other two jobs, and my seven-year-old, Mika, is not going to school, I have let Megan sleep in a little bit before coming to do my morning care.

I sent an email to my helper who usually comes on Mondays and Thursdays and told her to stay home because I am sick. Megan is already here and can do the tasks my helper does for me. I am patiently waiting until 8:30 a.m., when I can call the ask-a-nurse line to determine if I should be worried about my symptoms. I called my significant other, Donald, to verify where he keeps the ibuprofen in case I need to take some today for pain.

I do not want to spend my day worrying; I want to spend my day working. My tasks yesterday seemed to take forever. The first of each month is always a little busy for me because it is statistics day and I do payroll for my homecare staff. Yesterday I was also uploading videos to YouTube and into my client’s Google drive, so I kept overburdening my Internet, which made it difficult to collect my statistics in a timely manner.

I just got off the phone with the nurse and the fact I do not have a fever is a good sign (I thought it would be). The nurse is sending a message to Dr. Doom and Gloom’s office, so he can decide my next steps. If I start to have any trouble breathing before they call me back, the nurse told me to go to the emergency room. My breathing will need to get really difficult to get me to go to the emergency room germ fest.

I have been a little more lightheaded than usual this morning, and I am not sure if it is low blood pressure, a low oxygen level, or a combination of both. I am coughing a little more often today, and each cough feels like it is trying to bring up crud from my lungs. My impaired lungs do not clean themselves out well because I have pathetic, tiny coughs. My coughs do not have the strength to clear out my lungs which is why it is so easy for me to catch pneumonia.

I will start getting some work done after I finish writing today’s journal entry unless Dr. Doom and Gloom decides I need to come into his office today. I did check our local transit website to make sure further cuts have not been made due to a shortage of healthy drivers. Fortunately, I do have a small box of face masks, so I can wear one if I need to catch a bus to the hospital.

I am sure I simply have a spring cold, but I am wondering how I caught it since I have been practicing appropriate personal space outside of my home. Since Megan is planning to stay here to babysit me today, I may go back to bed in a couple of hours to try to take a nap, because I am starting to get a little tired.

My piece of advice to you is to use an abundance of caution. I am making plans now because if I get to the point where I cannot sit up anymore without trying to pass out, the emergency room will be my only option.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Yesterday, my seven-year-old, Mika, and I had a social distance play date with two of our friends. Our social distance play date involved the girls sitting about eight feet apart on the driveway, talking to each other. The mother and I were also at least six feet apart watching the girls and talking. Our girls are great friends and they have not seen each other for a little more than two weeks; they are also both only children (sort of).

Mika and I did not plan to have a play date, we were simply checking on them because the mom had not replied to a couple of emails I sent since the school closed almost three weeks ago. My friend installed a second Ring doorbell in an accessible location for me because I am unable to get to the doorbell everyone else uses. I told Mika we could ring my doorbell because nobody else likely uses it and we would be several feet from the front door, so we would not give our friends any bad germs if we had them.

Our friends came outside since it was a nice day and we all talked for nearly an hour. We liked our social distance play date so much; Mika and I went back today. Today the girls were a little more creative. The girls wanted me to record them practicing some lines of a script Mika’s friend had written, but that did not last long. The girls started playing Thumb War and a game called Crack the Egg while I was still recording.

Apparently, Crack the Egg is a trampoline game; I had never heard of it. It was funny to watch the girls play the games from so far apart, in a driveway. I will edit the videos and get permission to post them to Mika’s YouTube channel from my friend since her daughter is in them also. I think the videos show kids are resilient, and can play games they find fun without touching, or even being close to, one another.

My friend told me today that she thought yesterday’s visit was great for her daughter. Mika does not miss school at all, other than her teacher. Mika’s friend, however, has a few class friends she misses since school is not in session. Mika does not interact well with many of the kids in her class, but she does miss her friend (Mika and her friend are not in the same class). I think more outdoor, social distance play dates will be a welcome distraction for them both.

I have not been sleeping well the past few days. As a general rule, I do not sleep a lot. I usually fall asleep around 10:00 p.m. and wake up six to eight hours later (usually six), but the past few nights have been rather obnoxious. I fall asleep by 10:00 p.m., and then I wake back up at midnight. I find myself wide awake for several hours and I finally fall back asleep about an hour before it is time to get up for the day. I have had some heaviness in my chest since Monday, but I have not had any trouble breathing, so I am just paying attention to how I feel and how my lungs sound. I do not think my bad sleep is caused by my chest congestion. 

My bad sleep could be caused by a subconscious concern for the health of my son since he needed to go on self-quarantine Monday. I do not think my bad sleep is caused by a concern for my son because I do not think he is in any danger; however, I am a mom and worry for our children simply comes rushing in at birth and never leaves, even when they are 31. I may be able to prevent my tears from flowing, but mom worry gets imprinted onto your DNA and even I cannot control it.

My piece of advice to you is to not fight mom worry. Mom worry subsides a little when your children move out of your house, and you no longer wonder if they are lying dead in a ditch somewhere every time they leave the house and are not home half an hour before they said they would be. Mika is still young enough she only creates a little mom worry, but I know there is so much more yet to come.

Until next time,
Susanne

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Tuesday, March 31, 2020
My son, Marcus, has been placed in self-quarantine. Marcus has not been at our house for several weeks, so we do not need to take any extra precautions. Marcus has still been working because he does commercial construction, like his father, and skilled trades are considered essential workers in the stay-at-home executive order the governor of Colorado issued last week.

One of the other employees has been coming to work sick since last week even though the other employees asked him to go home. Unfortunately, so many hourly workers feel they need to work and cannot afford to take time off, even when they are sick. Marcus is working an out-of-town job for which they are provided a room to stay in at night Monday through Thursday, and some people may carpool to the town. I am sure all the other employees avoided the sick man as much as they could while he was working, but if he carpooled or had a roommate, it is very likely they could all get sick.

Yesterday, everyone from the company was ordered off the job, and sent home into self-quarantine until COVID-19 test results are available for the inconsiderate employee. I am a typical mother; I called Marcus in the evening, after I was certain he would be back home, to give him a mom lecture. I told Marcus he could not leave his apartment, and nobody could come into his apartment. Marcus told me he has been paying attention and understands the self-quarantine rules.

I told Marcus his sister, Megan, could bring groceries, toiletries, or take-out food to his doorstep if he needs anything. I also told Marcus he could order delivery as long as he used the “leave on doorstep” option. Marcus told me his girlfriend was also available to bring him necessary items. I went into mom mode and immediately said, “You know she cannot come into your apartment or touch you, right?” Marcus told me again he understands the self-quarantine rules. Marcus has not lived with me for at least 13 years. It does not matter how old and independent your child is, they will always be a small child in the back of your mind.

I let Marcus know one of the recent orders included a provision to pay employees if they were placed on a job-induced self-quarantine. Marcus told me his employer was looking into the details of the order. Marcus has been saving towards purchasing a house, I think, so he should be able to pay his rent if there is a delay in receiving the self-quarantine money. Marcus is a long-time tenant and I think his landlord will work with him if necessary. I am sure Marcus will enjoy the opportunity to hang out at home and play video games.

Megan is having her own adventure with her roommates. Yesterday, the three women purchased big NERF guns at Target, and had a NERF war inside the townhouse. Megan had purchased two NERF guns, so the lone gentleman in their house could participate. When Megan got here this morning to get me out of bed, she still had black makeup under her eyes. I can imagine the four of them running around the house, hiding behind furniture, and shooting one another. I am sure NERF wars are a great way to relieve stress.

I found a book series my seven-year-old, Mika, likes other than Dog Man yesterday. Unfortunately, I only have the first book and I had purchased it for Megan. The book series was published from 2002 to 2007. With print on demand available, I do not understand why any book is out of print. It is very inexpensive to create a file and upload a book to a print-on-demand service. I would have bought up to 14 books today if they had been available. I am sure the rights are currently owned by a traditional publisher who has not realized they can make money without incurring a large upfront printing cost on older book titles.

My piece of advice to you is to have a NERF war or whatever you can do to relieve stress. Read a trashy romance or a science fiction book. Binge watch old television shows until you let go of your stress.

​Until next time,
Susanne

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