Thursday, January 30, 2020
The doctor shows are big on cancer this week. The other doctor show I watch is New Amsterdam. Cancer is a recurring topic on this show because the main character went through treatment for throat cancer. I like the hopeful, solution-centric mentality of the main character. It would be nice to have a patient-first health system in the United States, but I think the political divide is too great to ever let that happen.
I usually watch New Amsterdam online because I watch a show on another channel when it airs. Tuesday’s episode included an 18-year-old young man who had successfully treated his cancer a few years before only to have it come back untreatable. He is told he has four to six months to live and decides not to tell his parents. I completely understand the shock when you think your cancer is gone and you find out it is going to kill you instead. Been there, done that.
A psychiatrist speaks to the young man and tells him that sometimes people think if we do not talk about a topic, it will not happen. I get it; denial is my favorite friend. The power of the spoken word is the reason I have asked volunteers to read my journal entries for my YouTube channel instead of doing it myself. If I do not say the words I write out loud, they do not have power over me. My cancer will go away; I will not die sometime in the next few years. Those are the words I say out loud.
I understand why an 18-year-old would choose not to tell his family. They may be trying to keep their family happy as long as possible. That is what I am doing for my seven-year-old, Mika. Mika needs to have the happiest childhood I can give her because it will be gone way too soon. In this case, the young man said he wanted to experience life as much as possible while he still could and did not want to see his parent’s sad faces when he went out with other people instead of them.
The young man decides to visit a friend in another country and then maybe climb some mountains so his parents will not notice his declining health. When the psychiatrist asks him if he really wants his parents to find out he died on a mountain all alone, the young man responds that it will be awful for his parents no matter where he dies and by experiencing more of what life has to offer, at least it will not be awful for him.
I am lucky. I crammed so much living in by the time I turned 27, my paralysis did not make me skip a beat (who-hoo! I forgot how to spell paralysis again). I have enjoyed my life since I started using a wheelchair. I do not feel I have left any tasks undone other than raising Mika so I can happily focus on spending quality time with my family for my remaining days. I would probably have put myself before family if I had gotten a terminal diagnosis in my late teens or twenties.
The psychiatrist asks the young man if he wants to record a goodbye video for his parents and he agrees. Ah, the immediacy of youth. It has been almost four months since my terminal diagnosis and I still am having trouble talking to my family on video. I could not have recorded a goodbye video the day I got the news from Dr. Doom and Gloom. In the perfect world of television shows, the young man realizes how much he still wants to be with his parents for his last days while recording the video and decides to tell them. Whichever choice he made would have been right for him.
My piece of advice to you is to try not to judge people’s choices. Everyone has different life circumstances and personalities and the choice we think we would have made is not the “right” one for everyone. I do not want to take a trip abroad or skydive before I die, but a day trip to the Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve with my family would be amazing.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
The doctor shows are big on cancer this week. The other doctor show I watch is New Amsterdam. Cancer is a recurring topic on this show because the main character went through treatment for throat cancer. I like the hopeful, solution-centric mentality of the main character. It would be nice to have a patient-first health system in the United States, but I think the political divide is too great to ever let that happen.
I usually watch New Amsterdam online because I watch a show on another channel when it airs. Tuesday’s episode included an 18-year-old young man who had successfully treated his cancer a few years before only to have it come back untreatable. He is told he has four to six months to live and decides not to tell his parents. I completely understand the shock when you think your cancer is gone and you find out it is going to kill you instead. Been there, done that.
A psychiatrist speaks to the young man and tells him that sometimes people think if we do not talk about a topic, it will not happen. I get it; denial is my favorite friend. The power of the spoken word is the reason I have asked volunteers to read my journal entries for my YouTube channel instead of doing it myself. If I do not say the words I write out loud, they do not have power over me. My cancer will go away; I will not die sometime in the next few years. Those are the words I say out loud.
I understand why an 18-year-old would choose not to tell his family. They may be trying to keep their family happy as long as possible. That is what I am doing for my seven-year-old, Mika. Mika needs to have the happiest childhood I can give her because it will be gone way too soon. In this case, the young man said he wanted to experience life as much as possible while he still could and did not want to see his parent’s sad faces when he went out with other people instead of them.
The young man decides to visit a friend in another country and then maybe climb some mountains so his parents will not notice his declining health. When the psychiatrist asks him if he really wants his parents to find out he died on a mountain all alone, the young man responds that it will be awful for his parents no matter where he dies and by experiencing more of what life has to offer, at least it will not be awful for him.
I am lucky. I crammed so much living in by the time I turned 27, my paralysis did not make me skip a beat (who-hoo! I forgot how to spell paralysis again). I have enjoyed my life since I started using a wheelchair. I do not feel I have left any tasks undone other than raising Mika so I can happily focus on spending quality time with my family for my remaining days. I would probably have put myself before family if I had gotten a terminal diagnosis in my late teens or twenties.
The psychiatrist asks the young man if he wants to record a goodbye video for his parents and he agrees. Ah, the immediacy of youth. It has been almost four months since my terminal diagnosis and I still am having trouble talking to my family on video. I could not have recorded a goodbye video the day I got the news from Dr. Doom and Gloom. In the perfect world of television shows, the young man realizes how much he still wants to be with his parents for his last days while recording the video and decides to tell them. Whichever choice he made would have been right for him.
My piece of advice to you is to try not to judge people’s choices. Everyone has different life circumstances and personalities and the choice we think we would have made is not the “right” one for everyone. I do not want to take a trip abroad or skydive before I die, but a day trip to the Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve with my family would be amazing.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.