Wednesday, December 18, 2019
I have finally started part one of my most important priority of my exceptional exit plan. My most important priority is recording video and written messages for my family. I am not writing individual letters to my family members; I am writing in my journal every day for all my family to see inside my head during my last years (hopefully). The video messages are the individual messages I will be leaving for my family.
I do not have a single video message ready for anyone in my family 77 days after I got my disappointing diagnosis. I have tried to start this task a couple of times. First, I needed to get to a space emotionally where I felt I could attempt to record the video messages and not cry each time; I got there in late October. Second, I had technical difficulties, which I worked through. Third, I had the nasty virus sweeping Colorado Springs, from which I recovered. Fourth, my seven-year-old, Mika, had Thanksgiving break and several snow days home for school. Fifth, I was preparing several weeks for a talk last week and it was not going well.
Today, I sat my video camera (attached to its mini tripod) in front of my computer and recorded three short videos; one for my older daughter, Megan, and two for Mika. I stopped recording after the three messages because, unlike using my webcam, I cannot immediately review the recordings to see what must be changed. I left my space heater running (because I was very cold), so the heater may be too loud and distract from my message and then I will feel the need to redo the videos.
I will watch the videos tomorrow once I have someone help me download them to my computer to review for okayness (I am not even remotely trying for perfection or even excellence). I will not be able to edit the recording into individual messages (I left the camera running for the entire short session) or record any new or replacement videos until after Mika goes back to school January 8th. That darn fourth excuse keeps rearing its ugly head.
I can spend some of the school holiday break deciding what I want to actually say for Mika’s birthday videos and then maybe I can get a jump on recordings once she starts back to school. I do not want to do a plain “Happy X Birthday, Mika” although I will if I take a turn for the worst and time becomes an issue. I want to give Mika a message that might be helpful for her specific age. I plan to work backwards so I should not need to do an 8th birthday message, so that leaves content for only 13 birthday videos to figure out.
I am currently mostly stumped as to what messages I should leave for my son; he has told me he does not want any video messages (Megan wants me to record a video for him stating she is my favorite). I have just two topics on his list. I have a few good ideas for my significant other. I am still working on a list of favorite memories of my siblings and parents for their recordings.
My mother would never need to record a video for me telling my why she loves me; she told me many years ago. Apparently, when I was very young, my mom was sick in bed and I made her cooked peanut butter sandwiches. Fortunately, I did not burn the house down, so she lived to tell me about it when I was in my teens or twenties.
My piece of advice to you is tell people why you love them. My mother was not sick when she told me the story of why she loved me (she was in a life-threatening situation when she thought of the biggest reason she loved each of her seven children). If my mother were to pass away tomorrow, I would still have that story to comfort me for the rest of my life. My mom loves me for other reasons too, but mostly for cooked peanut butter sandwiches.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
I have finally started part one of my most important priority of my exceptional exit plan. My most important priority is recording video and written messages for my family. I am not writing individual letters to my family members; I am writing in my journal every day for all my family to see inside my head during my last years (hopefully). The video messages are the individual messages I will be leaving for my family.
I do not have a single video message ready for anyone in my family 77 days after I got my disappointing diagnosis. I have tried to start this task a couple of times. First, I needed to get to a space emotionally where I felt I could attempt to record the video messages and not cry each time; I got there in late October. Second, I had technical difficulties, which I worked through. Third, I had the nasty virus sweeping Colorado Springs, from which I recovered. Fourth, my seven-year-old, Mika, had Thanksgiving break and several snow days home for school. Fifth, I was preparing several weeks for a talk last week and it was not going well.
Today, I sat my video camera (attached to its mini tripod) in front of my computer and recorded three short videos; one for my older daughter, Megan, and two for Mika. I stopped recording after the three messages because, unlike using my webcam, I cannot immediately review the recordings to see what must be changed. I left my space heater running (because I was very cold), so the heater may be too loud and distract from my message and then I will feel the need to redo the videos.
I will watch the videos tomorrow once I have someone help me download them to my computer to review for okayness (I am not even remotely trying for perfection or even excellence). I will not be able to edit the recording into individual messages (I left the camera running for the entire short session) or record any new or replacement videos until after Mika goes back to school January 8th. That darn fourth excuse keeps rearing its ugly head.
I can spend some of the school holiday break deciding what I want to actually say for Mika’s birthday videos and then maybe I can get a jump on recordings once she starts back to school. I do not want to do a plain “Happy X Birthday, Mika” although I will if I take a turn for the worst and time becomes an issue. I want to give Mika a message that might be helpful for her specific age. I plan to work backwards so I should not need to do an 8th birthday message, so that leaves content for only 13 birthday videos to figure out.
I am currently mostly stumped as to what messages I should leave for my son; he has told me he does not want any video messages (Megan wants me to record a video for him stating she is my favorite). I have just two topics on his list. I have a few good ideas for my significant other. I am still working on a list of favorite memories of my siblings and parents for their recordings.
My mother would never need to record a video for me telling my why she loves me; she told me many years ago. Apparently, when I was very young, my mom was sick in bed and I made her cooked peanut butter sandwiches. Fortunately, I did not burn the house down, so she lived to tell me about it when I was in my teens or twenties.
My piece of advice to you is tell people why you love them. My mother was not sick when she told me the story of why she loved me (she was in a life-threatening situation when she thought of the biggest reason she loved each of her seven children). If my mother were to pass away tomorrow, I would still have that story to comfort me for the rest of my life. My mom loves me for other reasons too, but mostly for cooked peanut butter sandwiches.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.