Yesterday I woke up remembering an odd dream. I fell back asleep for a while and had completely forgotten the dream until I was writing yesterday’s journal entry. Yesterday was the first day in two weeks I actually felt like writing a journal entry. As I was writing, the dream fragments suddenly popped back into my conscious. I was writing about a completely unrelated subject yesterday, so I opened today’s file and typed out notes in case I completely forgot the dream again.
I have mentioned before I am frequently aware of reality in my dreams. In Saturday morning’s dream, I was lying in my bed and a bus driver was in the hallway dancing by the door to cheer me up. It was not a specific bus driver; it was an unrecognizable woman in a bus driver uniform and mask who was joined by two other bus drivers to brighten my day. I asked the woman how she knew where I lived because the bus stop is several blocks from my house. I do not remember getting a specific answer.
I do remember realizing I could not possibly be in my house because I was looking through the door from the wrong direction. In my bedroom, the door is on the left as I lay in the bed. In the dream, the door was on the right. I decided in my dream I must be in the hospital and that is how the bus drivers found me. When my brain discovers inconsistencies in my dreams, it looks for a way to justify the change.
As often happens in dreams, I suddenly find myself in another scene. There is still a bus driver involved, however, now I am boarding a bus with my eight-year-old, Mika, and my helper, Star. The bus was oddly configured, it was more like a house on wheels than a bus. It was a “family” bus, whatever that meant, and the wheelchair spot was horizontal instead of vertical in the front. Mika and Star went through a hallway to the back because the front was already full of families.
As the bus pulls away from the bus stop (driving on the wrong side of the street), I notice Mika and Star outside the bus, walking toward my house. I ask the driver to let me out because I did not know they got off since they were in the back and he told me he had already started moving so he could not. I pressed the bell for the stop on the correct side of the street a block away and the driver still kept driving.
I was frantic in my dream. I was pleading with the bus driver to please let me off the bus because Star and Mika would worry about me. I tried to push open the bus doors to get off as we drove by the stop on the correct side of the street, and I remember thinking I would not be able to get off the bus even with the doors open without a ramp. I resigned myself to the fact I would need to get off at the next stop a mile down the road and roll home from there. That is all I remember about my dream.
Yesterday morning, shortly after I wrote my notes about my dream, Mika came downstairs to say good morning. Mika said she was pretty sure she had good dreams, but she could not remember them. I told Mika I had a weird dream and asked her if she wanted me to tell her about it. When I finished telling Mika the story, there was a loud noise upstairs and Mika started crying. I told Mika to come over for a hug and mentioned I thought she was not so afraid of loud noises anymore.
Mika told me she was crying because I left her in my dream. Wow. I did not see that coming. I assured Mika she was safe in my dream because Star was there to protect her. My dream may not have any deep meaning for me, but for Mika it was a reminder that someday her mother will leave and not come back.
My piece of advice to you is to notice how others are reacting to unwelcome circumstances. I thought my dream simply ridiculous, for Mika it was an image of her future.
Until next time,
Please check out my GoFundMe page.