Thursday, January 2, 2020
My seven-year-old, Mika, is afraid. You name it, she is probably afraid of it. She has always been sensitive to loud noises. The first time I took baby Mika to her sister’s high school swim meet she cried during every race. Fifty to 100 people cheering for the swimmers in an enclosed pool was more than she could bear. I bought Mika headphones for the next swim meet.
When we went on walks, Mika would not walk near any equipment that made any noise. The vacuum cleaner and lawn mower sent her running to my lap in tears. She would not watch any type construction truck or even the train. Loud noises terrified tiny Mika. Mika still avoids loud noises when she can; I do not think I will ever be able to take her to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the noise and fire are just asking for a meltdown.
Some of Mika’s fears make sense to me. Mika has nightmares frequently and many times those nightmares involve the death of her family. Those nightmares started before I knew about the cancer, so I think they are ordinary childhood dreams. I had nightmares about my sister dying (always the same sister) until I completed elementary school. I remember how afraid I was to go to sleep each night.
Some of Mika’s fears I find completely ridiculous. I get it, she is only seven, but once she thinks there can possibly be a problem, she is afraid. Mika is currently afraid to flush the downstairs toilet. A couple of weeks ago, my downstairs toilet overflowed, and I needed to have a plumber clear my main line. Mika was not the one who flushed the toilet when it overflowed, but now that she knows it can overflow, she is afraid it will.
Mika is afraid to open a soda can. Mika has watched YouTube videos in which someone shakes up a can, gives it to someone, they open the soda can, and it sprays in their face. There is also a loud noise when the can actually opens that scares Mika. Yesterday, I needed to open a grapefruit soda and it took 15 minutes of me trying to convince Mika it would not explode on her. I ended up using my teeth to pop the seal (so bad for your teeth) and persuaded her to pull the tab to open it the rest of the way.
During this school holiday break, Mika has been afraid to sleep alone. This means she wants to sleep with me, on my twin-size hospital bed. Mika is quite tall and can no longer curl up at the bottom of my bed where feet would be if I had any. Mika starts curled up with her head at the foot of my bed, but shortly after she falls asleep, she stretches her legs out and kicks me all night long. I am a light sleeper usually, so all Mika’s movement keeps waking me up.
I know Mika will get over most of her childhood fears. Mika does not freak out anymore when she sees some types of bugs, and she is getting better about staying calm around bees, but we still have a long way to go with spiders and snakes. I would like to work more on the soda can issue, however I rarely drink soda and do not want to drink sodas any more often.
I am still afraid of falling. Not a little fear; when it grips me, I cannot move, and it is hard to breathe. I have been afraid of falling since I was a child and that fear turned crippling after Mika was born premature and I was afraid I would drop her. You would think six years after I quit worrying about dropping Mika, my intense fear would have abated. It has not. I cannot cross walkovers alone. I cannot breathe if the elevator goes higher than the fourth floor. I am terrified to ride in an automobile on a mountain road.
My piece of advice to you is acknowledge and work around your fears. I may not roll across the bridge to see the elephants with Mika at the zoo, but at least I was there for the rest of the excitement.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
My seven-year-old, Mika, is afraid. You name it, she is probably afraid of it. She has always been sensitive to loud noises. The first time I took baby Mika to her sister’s high school swim meet she cried during every race. Fifty to 100 people cheering for the swimmers in an enclosed pool was more than she could bear. I bought Mika headphones for the next swim meet.
When we went on walks, Mika would not walk near any equipment that made any noise. The vacuum cleaner and lawn mower sent her running to my lap in tears. She would not watch any type construction truck or even the train. Loud noises terrified tiny Mika. Mika still avoids loud noises when she can; I do not think I will ever be able to take her to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the noise and fire are just asking for a meltdown.
Some of Mika’s fears make sense to me. Mika has nightmares frequently and many times those nightmares involve the death of her family. Those nightmares started before I knew about the cancer, so I think they are ordinary childhood dreams. I had nightmares about my sister dying (always the same sister) until I completed elementary school. I remember how afraid I was to go to sleep each night.
Some of Mika’s fears I find completely ridiculous. I get it, she is only seven, but once she thinks there can possibly be a problem, she is afraid. Mika is currently afraid to flush the downstairs toilet. A couple of weeks ago, my downstairs toilet overflowed, and I needed to have a plumber clear my main line. Mika was not the one who flushed the toilet when it overflowed, but now that she knows it can overflow, she is afraid it will.
Mika is afraid to open a soda can. Mika has watched YouTube videos in which someone shakes up a can, gives it to someone, they open the soda can, and it sprays in their face. There is also a loud noise when the can actually opens that scares Mika. Yesterday, I needed to open a grapefruit soda and it took 15 minutes of me trying to convince Mika it would not explode on her. I ended up using my teeth to pop the seal (so bad for your teeth) and persuaded her to pull the tab to open it the rest of the way.
During this school holiday break, Mika has been afraid to sleep alone. This means she wants to sleep with me, on my twin-size hospital bed. Mika is quite tall and can no longer curl up at the bottom of my bed where feet would be if I had any. Mika starts curled up with her head at the foot of my bed, but shortly after she falls asleep, she stretches her legs out and kicks me all night long. I am a light sleeper usually, so all Mika’s movement keeps waking me up.
I know Mika will get over most of her childhood fears. Mika does not freak out anymore when she sees some types of bugs, and she is getting better about staying calm around bees, but we still have a long way to go with spiders and snakes. I would like to work more on the soda can issue, however I rarely drink soda and do not want to drink sodas any more often.
I am still afraid of falling. Not a little fear; when it grips me, I cannot move, and it is hard to breathe. I have been afraid of falling since I was a child and that fear turned crippling after Mika was born premature and I was afraid I would drop her. You would think six years after I quit worrying about dropping Mika, my intense fear would have abated. It has not. I cannot cross walkovers alone. I cannot breathe if the elevator goes higher than the fourth floor. I am terrified to ride in an automobile on a mountain road.
My piece of advice to you is acknowledge and work around your fears. I may not roll across the bridge to see the elephants with Mika at the zoo, but at least I was there for the rest of the excitement.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.