Saturday, November 2, 2019
I was watching an episode of New Amsterdam online when I saw a scene that has played out many times in my life. A woman who was in an automobile accident has just been told her friend, who was hurt in the accident, is about to go into surgery and might die. The woman asks the doctor to pray with her. He replies that he is not really the most prayerful of guys. She looks at him intently and he agrees to pray with her.
As recently as two weeks ago I have been asked, “May I pray with/for you?” by random people I have never met. I believe people have the best intentions when they ask me, so I always say yes. I am not a religious person and have not prayed by myself since I was 18, however I understand how important a higher power is to so many people and I am always willing to put more positive energy out in the world.
When a friend asks to pray with or for me, I never question their motives. I know there are hundreds of people I have met who have mentioned me in their prayers, either to ask for a miracle cure or for me to have more time with my seven-year-old, Mika. These people love me and wish the best for me. I am thankful for their prayers.
When a random stranger asks to pray with or for me, I think they pity me. No one ever stopped me and asked to pray for me when I could walk. Why does a wheelchair change that? Why would someone think I need to be prayed for simply because I use a wheelchair? I am thankful for these prayers, even though I think their motives are misguided.
When I was in the rehabilitation hospital after my accident, a few people told me my accident was a part of God’s plan. I told them in no uncertain terms that God did not do this to me; my own stupidity did. I told them if God had anything to do with my accident it was to make sure I kept breathing afterward, because it took rescuers almost an hour to get me out of my pickup.
I may not be religious, but I have read the bible more than once. Satan did all those horrible things to Job, not God. If there is a God, he or she has better things to do than cause me to fall asleep while driving. I am perfectly capable of doing that on my own. God may have woke me up in time to avoid hitting that tree head on so I was only paralyzed, not dead.
I did not find a relationship with God when I went through rehab, although I saw many people who did and were better for that relationship. I took responsibility for my actions and did not feel I needed divine guidance to do so. I do not expect to find a relationship with God as I go through my exceptional exit plan (although I googled the stages of grief and bargaining is one of them so who knows) because I am okay with dying.
Being okay with dying does not mean I am not afraid. I am not afraid for me; I am not going to know I am dead. I am afraid for those I leave behind.
My piece of advice to you is to connect with a higher power if that is what your soul craves. My 24-year-old, Megan is still looking to strengthen her connection to God, and I hope she is successful in her endeavor. Our souls need to be nourished and God is pretty good at that.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
I was watching an episode of New Amsterdam online when I saw a scene that has played out many times in my life. A woman who was in an automobile accident has just been told her friend, who was hurt in the accident, is about to go into surgery and might die. The woman asks the doctor to pray with her. He replies that he is not really the most prayerful of guys. She looks at him intently and he agrees to pray with her.
As recently as two weeks ago I have been asked, “May I pray with/for you?” by random people I have never met. I believe people have the best intentions when they ask me, so I always say yes. I am not a religious person and have not prayed by myself since I was 18, however I understand how important a higher power is to so many people and I am always willing to put more positive energy out in the world.
When a friend asks to pray with or for me, I never question their motives. I know there are hundreds of people I have met who have mentioned me in their prayers, either to ask for a miracle cure or for me to have more time with my seven-year-old, Mika. These people love me and wish the best for me. I am thankful for their prayers.
When a random stranger asks to pray with or for me, I think they pity me. No one ever stopped me and asked to pray for me when I could walk. Why does a wheelchair change that? Why would someone think I need to be prayed for simply because I use a wheelchair? I am thankful for these prayers, even though I think their motives are misguided.
When I was in the rehabilitation hospital after my accident, a few people told me my accident was a part of God’s plan. I told them in no uncertain terms that God did not do this to me; my own stupidity did. I told them if God had anything to do with my accident it was to make sure I kept breathing afterward, because it took rescuers almost an hour to get me out of my pickup.
I may not be religious, but I have read the bible more than once. Satan did all those horrible things to Job, not God. If there is a God, he or she has better things to do than cause me to fall asleep while driving. I am perfectly capable of doing that on my own. God may have woke me up in time to avoid hitting that tree head on so I was only paralyzed, not dead.
I did not find a relationship with God when I went through rehab, although I saw many people who did and were better for that relationship. I took responsibility for my actions and did not feel I needed divine guidance to do so. I do not expect to find a relationship with God as I go through my exceptional exit plan (although I googled the stages of grief and bargaining is one of them so who knows) because I am okay with dying.
Being okay with dying does not mean I am not afraid. I am not afraid for me; I am not going to know I am dead. I am afraid for those I leave behind.
My piece of advice to you is to connect with a higher power if that is what your soul craves. My 24-year-old, Megan is still looking to strengthen her connection to God, and I hope she is successful in her endeavor. Our souls need to be nourished and God is pretty good at that.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.