Monday, December 30, 2019
My significant other, Donald, has a potty mouth. He works construction and feels that profanity is perfectly acceptable to use at any time. I, on the other hand, feel profanity is almost never acceptable. Donald used to attempt not to swear so much, but since my accident 24 years ago, he quit trying. It is hard for children to be subjected to such language, even when it is not directed specifically at them.
I am afraid to try out any Netflix original programming. I love Grace and Frankie, but I am verbally assaulted every time I try to watch an episode. The Ranch is hilarious, but I am pretty sure there are more profane words than work-appropriate words on any given episode. I am over these types of shows. When did USA Network get to use the F word on their shows? Broadcast television is not a lot better, but I can at least watch it with my seven-year-old, Mika, in the room.
This past weekend, Donald was mad about the state of the house (and me by proxy) and was upstairs swearing up a storm. Mika was downstairs with me, and I could see how the tone and profanity were hurting her heart. I told Donald he needed to stop swearing. He then prattled off nonsense about me not swearing because of my religious upbringing and he would stop to protect my holier-than-thou sensitivities.
Donald was wrong about why I do not swear. The reason he was wrong is his number one complaint about me; I never talk to him. Obviously, I never told him why I do not swear (other than I think it is disrespectful). Donald has a great memory, unlike me, so if I had ever told him, he would know the real reason I do not swear. In my defense, he has never asked me.
I do not swear because I think I am better than that. That does not mean I think I am better than people who do swear. I quit comparing myself to other people when I was a teenager. I set standards for myself as to the type of person I want to be at a young age. When I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher made an off-hand remark that has stuck in my head until this day. She said intelligent people did not need to swear because they could come up with far more creative words to express themselves.
I had already quit using contractions and abbreviations (I spell out etcetera) in my writings because I felt they were simply a way to tell the reader they were not worthy of me taking a few seconds to write out the entire word. It distresses me that I find myself using contractions in conversations. I am better than that. You are worthy of me communicating with you in complete words and creative thoughts. Eliminating profanity was the next logical step.
I know I am probably the only person in the United States of America (no USA from me) that loves words so much I am distressed by profanity, contractions, abbreviations AND symbols, and that is okay with me. Once again, I do not compare myself to others. What you do does not affect me, unless you are the head of original programming at Netflix. My 25-year-old self would be appalled at my use of “lazy” contractions in my verbal communication, but I am much older and wiser than she was.
My piece of advice to you is live by your own standards; but be flexible when you need to be. I learned to ignore Donald’s profanity-filled tirades years ago. Those are his standards. I learned with my older daughter, however, sometimes I need to stop him, or he will lose any hope of maintaining a good relationship with Mika as she grows up. When your child is afraid to cry in front of you because it may make you mad, your standards may need to be adjusted.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
My significant other, Donald, has a potty mouth. He works construction and feels that profanity is perfectly acceptable to use at any time. I, on the other hand, feel profanity is almost never acceptable. Donald used to attempt not to swear so much, but since my accident 24 years ago, he quit trying. It is hard for children to be subjected to such language, even when it is not directed specifically at them.
I am afraid to try out any Netflix original programming. I love Grace and Frankie, but I am verbally assaulted every time I try to watch an episode. The Ranch is hilarious, but I am pretty sure there are more profane words than work-appropriate words on any given episode. I am over these types of shows. When did USA Network get to use the F word on their shows? Broadcast television is not a lot better, but I can at least watch it with my seven-year-old, Mika, in the room.
This past weekend, Donald was mad about the state of the house (and me by proxy) and was upstairs swearing up a storm. Mika was downstairs with me, and I could see how the tone and profanity were hurting her heart. I told Donald he needed to stop swearing. He then prattled off nonsense about me not swearing because of my religious upbringing and he would stop to protect my holier-than-thou sensitivities.
Donald was wrong about why I do not swear. The reason he was wrong is his number one complaint about me; I never talk to him. Obviously, I never told him why I do not swear (other than I think it is disrespectful). Donald has a great memory, unlike me, so if I had ever told him, he would know the real reason I do not swear. In my defense, he has never asked me.
I do not swear because I think I am better than that. That does not mean I think I am better than people who do swear. I quit comparing myself to other people when I was a teenager. I set standards for myself as to the type of person I want to be at a young age. When I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher made an off-hand remark that has stuck in my head until this day. She said intelligent people did not need to swear because they could come up with far more creative words to express themselves.
I had already quit using contractions and abbreviations (I spell out etcetera) in my writings because I felt they were simply a way to tell the reader they were not worthy of me taking a few seconds to write out the entire word. It distresses me that I find myself using contractions in conversations. I am better than that. You are worthy of me communicating with you in complete words and creative thoughts. Eliminating profanity was the next logical step.
I know I am probably the only person in the United States of America (no USA from me) that loves words so much I am distressed by profanity, contractions, abbreviations AND symbols, and that is okay with me. Once again, I do not compare myself to others. What you do does not affect me, unless you are the head of original programming at Netflix. My 25-year-old self would be appalled at my use of “lazy” contractions in my verbal communication, but I am much older and wiser than she was.
My piece of advice to you is live by your own standards; but be flexible when you need to be. I learned to ignore Donald’s profanity-filled tirades years ago. Those are his standards. I learned with my older daughter, however, sometimes I need to stop him, or he will lose any hope of maintaining a good relationship with Mika as she grows up. When your child is afraid to cry in front of you because it may make you mad, your standards may need to be adjusted.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.