Tuesday, December 10, 2019
Have you ever felt you are sure to fail? That is how I feel right now. What I have noticed as major side effects from my chemotherapy are lack of immediate recall of words while speaking and a loss of what little short-term memory I had. Both are detrimental when trying to create and learn a new presentation.
Ah! The good old days (two years ago). If I wanted to write and learn a new presentation all I had to do was write three to five awesome introduction story paragraphs, put in five bullet points, and write three to five outstanding call to action paragraphs. I memorized six to ten paragraphs and delivered the five bullet points ad lib. I could easily learn a new talk in a month.
Fast forward to now. Tomorrow I am delivering a ten-minute presentation at one of the business networking groups I belong to and I expect to crash and burn. I am sure I will need to break down, admit defeat, and read the presentation from my paper script.
I have been preparing properly. I finished the 1,318-word script six weeks ago. I recorded me speaking it so I could replay it over and over as I did other tasks. I do have to confess here that I only played the recording while I was home alone because I do not use a device with earbuds and I did not want any feedback on my words because they are very personal to me and I have not released them yet. I read the script out loud almost every day. I carried a paper script on the bus and read it on my rides.
My speech is tomorrow, and I have the first five of 15 paragraphs memorized in my head. Those first five paragraphs are rock solid in my brain, and two years ago that would have been enough. I could ad lib my bullet points and not be freaking out right now. I cannot ad lib anymore. The words will not come to my mouth or mind properly. There is a disconnect there I cannot seem to overcome.
I know the broad ideas in the other ten paragraphs, but I do not get them in the correct order, or I forget which sentences go with which thought. I have written a funny, heart-felt, meaningful farewell note that people need to hear, and I am concerned my message will be diluted if I need to read it instead of presenting it.
I will be given a lapel microphone tomorrow, so I will not need to tie up my hands by holding the traditional microphone as I have in the past. I requested the lapel microphone for three reasons. One, I know we have one available; most of our monthly speakers use the lapel microphone for their presentations. Two, I have insane dry mouth; the last vestige of the nasty virus I had has not let go. I have not been able to read my speech out loud without taking a drink several times. Three, I need my hands free to hold my paper script to read when my brain fails me.
I have been practicing all day for my presentation tomorrow (until my seven-year-old came home from school). I will be reciting the words in my head tonight as I fall asleep. Tomorrow, I will be reading the script on the bus and at my event until it is my turn to deliver. When I roll up to speak, I will have my script on my lap so I can still deliver my message when my brain fails.
My piece of advice to you is to step up when the time comes. My friends will not care that I read my speech from a script. I am probably the only one who thinks my message will be less poignant if I read it rather than recite it from memory. I am the one delivering my message; that is what is truly important.
Until next time,
​Susanne
P.S. (written 2-19-2020) Check out the video recording here and decide how I did for yourself.
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
Have you ever felt you are sure to fail? That is how I feel right now. What I have noticed as major side effects from my chemotherapy are lack of immediate recall of words while speaking and a loss of what little short-term memory I had. Both are detrimental when trying to create and learn a new presentation.
Ah! The good old days (two years ago). If I wanted to write and learn a new presentation all I had to do was write three to five awesome introduction story paragraphs, put in five bullet points, and write three to five outstanding call to action paragraphs. I memorized six to ten paragraphs and delivered the five bullet points ad lib. I could easily learn a new talk in a month.
Fast forward to now. Tomorrow I am delivering a ten-minute presentation at one of the business networking groups I belong to and I expect to crash and burn. I am sure I will need to break down, admit defeat, and read the presentation from my paper script.
I have been preparing properly. I finished the 1,318-word script six weeks ago. I recorded me speaking it so I could replay it over and over as I did other tasks. I do have to confess here that I only played the recording while I was home alone because I do not use a device with earbuds and I did not want any feedback on my words because they are very personal to me and I have not released them yet. I read the script out loud almost every day. I carried a paper script on the bus and read it on my rides.
My speech is tomorrow, and I have the first five of 15 paragraphs memorized in my head. Those first five paragraphs are rock solid in my brain, and two years ago that would have been enough. I could ad lib my bullet points and not be freaking out right now. I cannot ad lib anymore. The words will not come to my mouth or mind properly. There is a disconnect there I cannot seem to overcome.
I know the broad ideas in the other ten paragraphs, but I do not get them in the correct order, or I forget which sentences go with which thought. I have written a funny, heart-felt, meaningful farewell note that people need to hear, and I am concerned my message will be diluted if I need to read it instead of presenting it.
I will be given a lapel microphone tomorrow, so I will not need to tie up my hands by holding the traditional microphone as I have in the past. I requested the lapel microphone for three reasons. One, I know we have one available; most of our monthly speakers use the lapel microphone for their presentations. Two, I have insane dry mouth; the last vestige of the nasty virus I had has not let go. I have not been able to read my speech out loud without taking a drink several times. Three, I need my hands free to hold my paper script to read when my brain fails me.
I have been practicing all day for my presentation tomorrow (until my seven-year-old came home from school). I will be reciting the words in my head tonight as I fall asleep. Tomorrow, I will be reading the script on the bus and at my event until it is my turn to deliver. When I roll up to speak, I will have my script on my lap so I can still deliver my message when my brain fails.
My piece of advice to you is to step up when the time comes. My friends will not care that I read my speech from a script. I am probably the only one who thinks my message will be less poignant if I read it rather than recite it from memory. I am the one delivering my message; that is what is truly important.
Until next time,
​Susanne
P.S. (written 2-19-2020) Check out the video recording here and decide how I did for yourself.
Please check out my GoFundMe page.