Here is another blank journal entry page skipped during the nearly seven months I was too sick to write or think while I was trying two different chemotherapy regimens which were not kind to me. This is another old pregnancy blog post. I am writing the beginning and end of this journal entry in June 2021 because I am a slacker in the future who should have updated this journal entry in January or February 2021. (At least I am consistently useless when I have epic fails). I posted this third pregnancy entry to a blog I called The Quad Mama on October 23, 2012. I titled this entry Congratulations, You Are Pregnant! Even though I am now (in 2021) nine years removed from my last pregnancy, I might dislike pregnancy even more now than I did in 2012,
“Congratulations, you are pregnant!” The four words so many of us rarely want to hear.
A semi-recent study (2011) states nearly half of all pregnancies in 2006 were unplanned or unintended. I am very surprised the number is that low. I know there are those fortunate women who actually get pregnant when they plan it, but in my experience most of us really do not plan to get pregnant when we do.
Feel free; ask ten of your friends with children, "Did you purposefully get pregnant at the time you conceived any of your children?" One of my ten friends questioned got pregnant on purpose with one of her children. (I have two new friends who both planned all their pregnancies. Go figure.) I have had three pregnancies and I did not plan any of them. Not planning a pregnancy, of course, does not mean I did not want any of my children it just means I was not at the point in my life when I thought I was ready to have a child.
I confess, I am not a happy pregnant person. I have friends who loved being pregnant. Personally, I think my friend is crazy. I even had really easy pregnancies with my first two children (We will not talk about the third right now.) so I do not have any room to complain about pregnancy (but I still do). I did not gain excessive amounts of weight (of course at 5 feet, 10 inches tall it is very easy to stay small while being pregnant), I did not get morning sickness, I did not even have a larger stomach with my second child than my first; and I could still do full splits the day before and the day after I delivered my second child. I have always joked I was not really pregnant, I just delivered babies. But still, I hated every minute of pregnancy all three times.
So now thanks to the call from my doctor, my friend Denial has completely abandoned me, and I need to prepare for the fact I AM actually pregnant."
Fast forward to June 2021 when I am writing this part and neither of my daughters, Megan and Mika, are interested in having biological children and my son, Marcus, told me several days ago he likes the freedom not having children gives him. Marcus has not ruled out marriage sometime in the future, but I think he is firm about not having children. Megan has wanted to be a foster and adoptive mom since she wrote a report about foster care in high school. Mika hears Megan and I talking about Megan becoming a foster mom and has decided she does not ever want to be pregnant either and wants to adopt. Megan and Mika may change their mind in the future and whatever they decide is absolutely fine with me because I am not one of those people who feels their biology must continue on after they pass.
My piece of advice to you is to admit how you really feel. I love my three children dearly and hated every minute of being pregnant with each one of them. My daughters know you can love a child just as much if someone else gave birth to the child or if you did. There are so many children in the United States of America who simply need someone to love them, and my daughters want to be those loving mothers.
Until next time,
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