Wednesday, March 4, 2020
It is always nice when a day goes better than planned. When I saw the first weather forecast for today a week ago, the high temperature was forecast in the low 40s. Each day the forecast for today crept higher until it reached 59 degrees two days ago. Today is a beautiful, barely breezy, sunny day. That warmer weather was important because I needed to go back and forth between medical buildings today.

I left at 8:00 a.m. today and went to the hospital to get my port accessed so I could get a CT scan with contrast to check the status of my cancer. I am an extremely hard stick, so my port is the preferred method of intravenous access. The nurse asked me if I would be coming back to the hospital to have my port access removed or would a nurse do it at my appointment location. I told her I do not know if there is a nurse available at the other building, so she told me she would leave my chart open to enable me to come back to the hospital to take the needle out of my chest if necessary.

I rolled the eight blocks to the other medical building associated with the hospital and read a book until 10:00 a.m. I went into the radiology check-in area to check in to get my pre-scan drink. The check-in clerk was very friendly, and she told me black was her favorite color too after I complemented her dress. The radiology technician gave me my drinks right away and told me they would be able to start me half an hour earlier since I was already there. I was nearly finished with the second glass of pre-scan drinking when he told me they would be taking me back in five minutes.

I was rolling out of my scan 55 minutes before my scheduled appointment time. I had the same scan done at the same place last year, and the technician who walked me back out to the lobby was there that day as well. He commented I looked much healthier this time. I told him I was 15 pounds heavier and felt much better than the last time I saw him, even if the prognosis was not as positive.

I rolled back to the hospital and checked in to get my port access removed. I think my nurse was at lunch, and I chatted with a family who had driven in for treatment from New Mexico. I felt so bad for the woman getting treated. Her chemotherapy was making her sick and she looked miserable. I probably looked like her before we started my treatment. I am so thankful my treatment does not make me nauseated.

After the nurse finished removing my port access, I rolled to the bus stop and basked in the sun while waiting for my ride. I made it home by two o’clock. I had time to check my email, do my Wednesday video tasks and write most of today’s journal entry before my younger daughter came home a few minutes ago.

Today has been a great day to have a great day, and a great day it was. I was a little resentful about the big chuck of time today’s scan was taking; however, today was fun. It was not hot, as I like it to be, but I was not cold except on my first bus in which the bus driver was running the air conditioning at 8:30 in the morning when it was 40 degrees outside. I was not sweaty today either, and cold and sweaty are the two issues that can steal the greatness from my day.

Yes, an able-bodied person would not need to give up so much of their day for the same procedure. I have better tasks to do than be angry about an issue I cannot change, and I can still have a great day shuttling back and forth for medical treatments.

My piece of advice to you is to make each day a great day. I start each day with six words; today will be a great day! It is easier for me to believe the day will be amazing when it is warm and sunny outside, and I work harder to make it so.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020
Today is presidential primary day in Colorado. I have never voted before in a presidential primary because I am an unaffiliated voter. A few years ago, a law was passed in Colorado that moved the presidential primary vote from June to Super Tuesday to make Colorado more relevant on the political map. I am pretty sure that law was backed by the local news and radio stations so they could get advertising revenue.

Tom Steyer was in the first ads I saw several months ago. I still do not know who he is, but he dropped out of the race a week or so ago. I have been watching many, many Michael Bloomberg advertisements for the few months he has been running and, honestly, I do not mind them. Michael Bloomberg ads, for the most part, carry a very positive message, and if I am going to get inundated with political ads, the positive ones do not make me want to turn off the television.

I do not think most of the Democratic party hopefuls researched how elections are run in Colorado. We have mail-in elections in Colorado, which means many votes are cast starting three weeks before election day. Other than Michael Bloomberg and those old Tom Steyer ads, I did not see a single ad for another candidate until ten days ago, and most started a few days ago. Nearly one million ballots had already been turned in before they started counting yesterday morning. If Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders thought ads would help them in Colorado, they probably missed the boat. I am not sure I even saw a Joe Biden ad.

Because of our new primary law, unaffiliated voters get both a Democratic and Republican ballot. We can choose one to return without declaring for a party. If we return both ballots, they get thrown away and are not counted. I am sure most unaffiliated voters who chose to vote today chose the Democratic ballot, but we actually had five other names on the Republican ballot in addition to Donald Trump. I had heard that some states had decided not to hold Republican primaries, so I was happy to see Colorado did.

I researched the other five men on the Republican ballot. I guess all the republican women were too smart to try to take on the Donald Trump marketing machine. One man’s website stated he had withdrawn from the race, so that left four. One of the men seemed a little far-fetched with his ideas and another had a website that read the way politicians speak. I clicked on an issue and instead of immediately addressing that particular issue, they placed an unrelated paragraph about why I should vote for him. I read that paragraph on the home page. Answer the question I asked, do not tell me what you want me to hear.

I could choose to vote for a Democratic candidate, although my first choice dropped out a few weeks ago. Four out of the five candidates left have good and bad qualities. There is another woman still in the race, but none of the news channels ever say her name. I looked her up online and her name is Tulsi Gabbard. I do not think I heard her name before today.

Do I vote FOR a democrat? Do I vote AGAINST Donald Trump just for fun? Do I throw both ballots away and choose not to vote in the primary like I did when I got them for the 2018 general election primaries? I voted no when the new voting law was on the ballot. My theory is that if I really want to vote in a party primary, I can declare for a party and vote. The only time I even considered voting in a presidential primary before today was when Elizabeth Dole ran for president in 2000. I would have declared Republican to vote for her. Alas, she dropped out of the race before anyone got the chance to vote for her.

My piece of advice to you is to vote. Democratic, Republican, Unaffiliated, whatever! My significant other and I usually cancel each other out when we fill out our ballots, but we still vote. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Monday, March 2, 2020
I got up today and looked out my glass doors to see a beautiful winter landscape. It is the heavy, branch-breaking snow that covers everything you can see. It will be breathtakingly beautiful for about five or six hours and then the snow will melt off the trees. It is the prettiest snow we have had this winter. I will be out in the snow in about an hour walking my seven-year-old, Mika, to school.

Last evening our school district announced a two-hour delay for today which confused me. The district already has a one and one-half hour delay on Mondays. I had to wonder all night if a two-hour delay meant Mika starts at 10:30 a.m. or noon. Noon seemed a bit excessive. After I admired the snow this morning, I checked my email for the school district notification. The notification explained the delay was based on the Tuesday through Friday start time and school starts today at 10:30 a.m. Woo hoo! We get half an hour delay.

Half an hour from now Mika and I will be bundling up to brave the 24-degree weather and make the trek to school. Fortunately, Mika is here to make sure I make it up the ramp because it has not been shoveled yet. There may not even be much snow on my ramp; there is not any snow on the uncovered parts of my patio. The snow is soft and wet, so I am not worried about getting stuck once I am out rolling through it in the street. Mika and I will leave a little early so we can enjoy the scenery as we walk.

I just got back from taking Mika to school. It is up to 26 degrees! The roads barely have any snow on them. My ramp has a little bit of snow stuck to it and there are several bare spots. Shoveling will not be necessary with this snowfall even if we did get a few inches. It was a beautiful walk. Mika stopped frequently to shake snow off the trees to snow down on her. We could not see the mountains today because of the cloud cover so we kept looking at snow-covered trees instead. We can find our little moments of joy anywhere.

Yesterday I went online to schedule Mika’s birthday pictures. Every year I subject my children to birthday pictures until they are eighteen. Because I scheduled Mika’s appointment so early, I was able to get the time I wanted. Mika’s birthday is now less than three months away. Her sister’s birthday is next month. Her sister shares her birthday with Mika’s monthly friend Lily.

Lily is not having a birthday party this year and I am not sure if Mika will have one either. I am happy to give Mika a birthday party, but I am not sure she wants one. Last summer Mika had a nightmare in which people died at her birthday party and now she is afraid to have a party. Mika asked me if we could have a family dinner out for her eighth birthday. I have not asked her recently if she still does not want to have a birthday party. I will not make her have a party if she does not want to have one.

Mika does have an odd Friday off from school in April, so we are planning a combined play date with Lily’s Friday friend at Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate her birthday. Lily’s mom says Lily does not like birthday parties because she does not feel like she gets enough individual time with each friend. I understand her rational. Lily is one of those people who will always ask you if you need a drink or a snack when you come over to her house. Mika and I figure you will ask us if you want a drink.

My piece of advice to you is to enjoy the fleeting moments. It is four o’clock as I write this last paragraph and 95 percent of this morning’s snow has melted from my back yard. I did ask Mika if she wanted a birthday party when she got home a few minutes ago. Mika said as long as her party was not at our house, as it was in her dream, she wanted a party. Mika only gets one eight birthday and I may not be around for number nine, so we are having a party.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Sunday, March 1, 2020
Today is a great day to sit in my skivvies and work. I need to work at least an hour on the first of each month no matter on which day of the week it lands. The first of each month is statistics day. It is the one day of the month I record email subscribers, social media followers, YouTube views, and other relevant business statistics. I think my numbers are a good snapshot of how my business and my client’s businesses are doing. I work with small, local businesses so they do not have 50,000 followers or subscribers, but their numbers continue to trend upward.

My seven-year-old, Mika has had at least 100 views for her YouTube channel videos for the past three months. That is awesome news because we did not post any videos for 14 months while I was on bedrest and starting my slash and burn chemotherapy treatment. We had 13 videos posted from early 2018, but the three months before we started posting new videos at the end of June 2019, she was down to single digit combined views. Mika now has one video that individually has more than 100 views and several more videos getting close. Mika’s channel has 29 subscribers; only 971 to go until we can monetize her channel.

Different statistics are important to different businesses. Mika has a Facebook page and Twitter profile for her YouTube channel, but other very young children do not use social media, so she has very few followers. Mika does not use social media; I manage her accounts. YouTube subscribers and views, and email subscribers are the only numbers relevant to Mika. One of my clients has had her Facebook page likes steadily grow, and her customers like to interact with her there so that is a number most important to her.

I needed to do a little personal work for my business today also. I have a busy work and medical week ahead of me. I have three social media clients I need to program content for into the summer. I need to change the schedule I prepared for one of them because she had some changes in her business. Once I update the images and text I need, I can probably start programming her new schedule on Saturday. The old schedule is already programmed so there will not be dead air if it takes me longer than expected.

My whole day Wednesday will be spent getting my scan done. Thursday, Mika has the day off from school and most my day will be spent at wound care. Friday, Mika has the day off from school and I have an appointment with Dr. Doom and Gloom. It looks like a bad week to try to do client work plus the extra work I need to do for my business. As I write it out loud, it seems impossible and it is already 4:00 p.m. today. By the time I finish writing this today, it will be supper time and I will be done doing any work for the day.

I have not been suffering from the afternoon super chill I wrote about several days ago, so I do not know if my siesta plan is a solution or a happy coincidence yet. Since I will be running the streets four out of five days this week, I may yet get a chance to test my theory out. I should go to lunch with Mika at school on Tuesday, but then I would be out of the house all five days and it is simply not warm enough to commit to it.

Mika and I took the weekend off from house cleaning because she has been doing such a good job the past few weekends and tomorrow we will skip recording videos for her YouTube channel because we are ahead and I did not choose jokes yet. I got quite a bit accomplished this week, yet I still feel behind.

My piece of advice to you is to enjoy a day at home in your skivvies. When I call my son and ask him to do a task for me on the weekend, his standard response is, “But that would require me to put on pants.” My pants and shirt look better hanging up in my closet than they would have on my body. As to lunch on Tuesday, “that would require me to put on pants.”

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Saturday, February 29, 2020
What a difference a single week can make. I did not have my scheduled chemotherapy last Friday because of the deep wound that opened near my tailbone. Yesterday was my scheduled rest from chemotherapy week and this morning my older daughter told me she does not think she is hitting bone anymore when cleaning the deep wound. One of the other wounds that was looking a little worse for wear is starting to heal. I can heal wounds if we take chemotherapy and steroids out of the mix.

It is nice to get good medical news for a change. Next week I will probably not be a little depressed when I come home from my wound care appointment. Woo hoo! Life is looking up. I really wanted to have my chemotherapy break during the summer, but this may be the best time for my mental health. The obvious downward trajectory my wounds have been taking has been very disheartening, even for me.

I have been trying to work on my tone of voice lately. I record most of my seven-year-old’s, Mika, YouTube videos and frequently give her direction. As I have watched these videos to edit them, I have noticed my tone when I direct her sounds harsher than I intend it to be. Since I have been making an effort to monitor my tone, I hear far fewer cringe-worthy directions coming out of my mouth than before.

Last night Mika had a meltdown and started crying uncontrollably. I tried to get her to calm down and tell me what was wrong, but I could not understand what she was saying. I kept telling her to quit crying so I could understand her. It was probably five minutes before I understood she was upset because she had placed some clay figures a friend from school had made for her in a resealable plastic bag and they had gotten squished. Mika started ranting about how we could never use plastic bags again, and when I tried to reason with her, she stomped upstairs crying.

When Mika got upstairs, her dad asked her what was wrong, and I listened to him do exactly what I had just done. He tried to get her to calm down and tell him what was wrong, but he could not understand what she was saying. He kept telling her to quit crying so he could understand her. As I listened to him interact with Mika, I realized we had both made a huge mistake. After finally talking to her dad, Mika went to her room to cry some more.

About 20 minutes later, I called Mika down to talk to me. I apologized to Mika for escalating the situation. I told her that instead of trying to get her to tell me what was wrong while she was still upset, I should have sent her to her room to cry it out, and then talked to her about it. We decided Mika would keep her clay creations in a bucket going forward, and we could still use resealable plastic bags for other items in the house. Sometimes you need to hear what you say out loud to understand how wrong it is.

Mika and I will still probably clash until the day I die because she does not understand that you do not get to play 24 hours a day. Mika truly believes if I insist she follows the rules, and Mika knows the rules, I am being mean or do not respect her feelings. Mika cannot grasp the concept that enforcing the rules is not punishment, it is expected behavior. I am sure it was much easier to be a parent of a young child when my parents did it. My first two children were much easier to communicate with at this age. I do not know if it is Mika’s personality, my age, awareness, the prevalence of technology, or all four, but I worry about Mika’s mental health much more than I did for her brother and sister.

My piece of advice to you is to give your children time to cry without being mean. I told both my older children, “Cry babies go to bed.” and sent them to their rooms when they cried as children. I do sometimes send Mika to her room to cry, but I tell her to, “Cry it out.” I get the same result without demeaning her.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Friday, February 28, 2020
Today is my scheduled chemotherapy rest day. In reality, it is my second rest week because Dr. Doom and Gloom took me off chemotherapy treatment last Friday due to a deep pressure sore. Oddly enough, I have still been eating pretty well this past week even without the help of steroids. I think all those weeks of steroid treatments have trained my body to eat more, even without the drug’s insistence.

I am having lunch with my seven-year-old, Mika, at school today for chocolate milk day. Woo hoo! Personally, I do not drink chocolate milk, I am not much of a chocolate fan anymore. I bring home my milk for Mika to drink later. I used to love milk chocolate, but cancer has pretty much taken that away from me. Most times I have a piece of chocolate now, I do not even like it. I had given up a lot of forms of chocolate long before I got sick, but it was still sad to lose the little chocolate I still enjoyed.

When I was a child, I ate every bit of chocolate put in front of me, even Oreo cookies, cake, and ice cream. I cannot remember ever eating chocolate ice cream as an adult other than an occasional small Frosty from Wendy’s. Frosties are milk chocolate and I usually shared that small cup with someone else, so I did not eat more than I would enjoy. The only chocolate cake I have eaten as an adult is German chocolate because some ingredient in the frosting neutralizes the strong chocolate taste, not that I have eaten any in many years. I know some of my loss of enjoyment eating milk chocolate is taste bud changes; however, some of it comes from changes in ingredients the manufacturers use.

I was smart enough to give up Oreo cookies while still in high school. The center is too sweet, and I do not like dark chocolate. They were so fun to eat. I would take off one side, hoping not to pull off any of the center and eat it. Then I would try to eat off the second side without disturbing the center, so I could eat it last without any chocolate interfering. Yes, food does taste better when you play with it. I also used to suck the milk chocolate off my Heath candy bars to eat the toffee separate until Hershey owned both Heath and Skor and now just puts Skor bars in Heath wrappers. (Hershey may say they are different, but Heath bars used to come in two pieces and had better-quality toffee.)

Even though I did not like most chocolate, I miss the chocolate I did like. I received a Toblerone bar for Christmas from a friend and only ate two triangles, and I did not love them. I have not had a blue-label Hershey Symphony bar for four years. I do not even crave mini Snickers ice cream bars. I miss chocolate!

I do not miss bread and only occasionally miss potatoes. I can still eat potatoes occasionally and not dislike them, but every time I try bread, I regret it. My chemotherapy treatments did not work well enough to bring back a taste for bread. I did like bread but eating lunchmeat and cheese with my fingers is fun, so who needs bread? A BLT is hard to eat without bread, but I still love it.

I am sure, as Mika ages, she will lose a taste for some types of chocolate she enjoys now. Hormones will dictate some of her cravings. I liked barbeque potato chips the week before my period each month, and only then. I do not eat barbeque potato chips anymore. I was eating Cheetos like crazy for the past three months. I have been eating out of the same snack-size bag for the past week. I may need to give up and throw it away. Cheetos were obviously a steroid craving. No steroids, no Cheetos.

My piece of advice to you is quit eating or drinking what you do not like. I do not put protein powder in my milk because it tastes bad to me. I simply try to drink five glasses of milk each day to hit my body’s elevated protein requirements. Most days I am successful in accomplishing my goals, and, most important, I do not beat myself up on the days I am not successful.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Thursday, February 27, 2020
I took my tuberculous test this morning. I was getting my weekly blood draw, so I asked the nurse to add in the TB test I had been called about on Monday. The execution of the tuberculous test was a lesson in fun. I was in the Infusion Clinic for my blood draw, not the regular laboratory and the nurse did not know what vials to place the blood in for the tuberculous test. The nurse sent the aide down the hall to the laboratory to get more information and she came back with the correct vials and instructions.

The tuberculous test requires four vials of blood. Only a little bit of blood goes in each vial, but still, why do they need four different vials of blood to test for tuberculous? The blood needs to be pulled out of my body with a syringe that has a large needle attached to it once the blood is drawn. The vials have an odd putty/cork-type covering on the top, and the nurse needed to jam the needle very hard to get through the covering and put the one milliliter of blood in the vial, four times.

On my way home, I decided to stop at the bank, if possible. I rang the bell for the bank stop and told the driver I would continue home if the ice patch was still there blocking my access to the curb cut. The bank bus stop is finally accessible since before Christmas! I was able to do my business at the bank and then roll the rest of the way home. There is still too much ice on the sidewalk in places going the other direction, but at least I can use the bus stop again, until the next snowstorm.

I kept my seven-year-old, Mika, home from school again even though she has completely recovered from her illness. Mika threw up one more time at 6:00 p.m. yesterday and the school requests we keep our children home for 24 hours after vomiting. Honestly, if I did not need to do a blood draw this morning, I would have sent her to school. If I was wrong about the completion of the illness and Mika did get sick again at school while I was out, the school would have called her father and he would have left work.

I know I should be a more rule-following parent when it comes to my child and sending her to school with a cough or the sniffles, but I still think, “It is just a cold. Germs make our immune systems stronger.” and send her to school anyway. I did follow the 24-hour rule this time, but only because not doing so may have inconvenienced my family. I do not think it counts as doing the right thing if it is only done for convenience.

Today is day 146 since I started writing a journal page every day, and two days ago I reached 100,000 written words. I sure talk a lot on paper, let me tell you. I review each day’s writing when I schedule it to my blog. I am currently scheduling December journal entries to my blog. I usually catch a misspelled word or grammatical error on about a third of them and have only needed to substantially rewrite one post so far. I misunderstood some information I had received, and the facts had been clarified by the time I scheduled it.

In April I plan to bundle my first 100 journal entries into a book which will require even more re-writing. I write each journal entry as a stand-alone thought and name my significant other, Donald; my son, Marcus; my older daughter, Megan; and etcetera each time. I can place a list of characters in the front of the book and simply use names throughout the book. I need to wait until April to start editing the book because I am still reviewing and scheduling December dates to my blog and I think January 12th is day 100.

My piece of advice to you is to enjoy a task as mundane as a tuberculous test. It was fun to watch the nurse and aide figure out how to properly administer the test. All three of us laughed as the nurse repeatedly jabbed the needle in the vial top, trying to get it through the covering. Laugh at the little things, it will make you happier.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Today I had a clutter clearing volunteer, Lauren, come to my house. This was Lauren’s second, and last, trip to my house to help me unless I still need help at this time next year. Lauren’s business is naturally slower in the winter and very busy in the spring, summer, and fall, so her free time has just dried up. Honestly, I may still need help clutter clearing a year from now and Lauren will likely be back.

Most of my friends have been a disappointment on the clutter clearing front. I had several people sign up for a shift when I posted dates in January, and half of them cancelled for legitimate reasons, but did not sign up for a replacement day. The two times I posted in February, with February and March dates, I did not get a single reply. (I email Lauren separately because she is not in any of my Facebook groups.)

Some of my friends have told me they are not available during weekdays and I get it. I do not expect, or want, anyone to take a day off work to help me at this point (other than my family). Most of my networking friends have flexible schedules and could work in a couple of hours one day in two months. My friends are killing it volunteering to record videos for me, and I want those numbers for clearing clutter too.

The clutter clearing volunteers who have come to my house have been amazing. Every time a volunteer comes, they work hard, and we set aside plenty of unused items for donating. I thought I had sorted all my seven-year-old’s, Mika, toys already, but Lauren and I discovered a large box full of toys hiding from us today. We did a quick sort of pieces of toys, which we set aside for my helper to put with the other toy pieces tomorrow, toys to keep or donate, and trash.

Mika was home from school sick again today, so I had her come out of my room for a few minutes to decide which of the keep or donate toys should be kept or donated. Mika took way too long to decide which toys went in which pile. I told Lauren this was a good reason to not have children, it takes Mika so long to do tasks because she wants to play with each toy as she sorts.

Lauren and I sorted through a bucket of photos. We split the photos into a Marcus pile, a Donald pile, a Megan pile, and a scan pile. Mika does not have a pile; she has digital albums on my computer and very few printed pictures (unless you count the several hundred promotional post cards we printed to promote her YouTube channel). When I get more clutter clearing volunteers, scanning will be a very large project that may need 20 days or more on its own. Now you know why I may need Lauren’s help again next year.

I have made a lot of progress on my clutter clearing project. Yes, I am still rolling around too many storage buckets in my lower level great room, but there are far fewer buckets I am rolling around. There will be clutter in this area until I finish my project because this is my preferred work area. Ninety-five percent of the items we cleared out of the shed in January were brought into my lower level great room to be checked before going into the donation bags. When I clear my items out of our unfinished storage room, they will come into this room to be sorted.

My lower level great room looks neater with the help from my volunteers. When my sister comes to visit (and clear clutter) in a month, my plan is to finish moving the rest of Mika’s belongings into her bedroom. We will probably immediately fill the emptied space with the stuff in the storage room, but then I will know there is one room in the house free of my clutter (three if I count Mika's and my significant other’s bedrooms).

My piece of advice to you is to be thankful even when you want more. If I was given news my life expectancy was much shorter and I told my friends I need help right now, I am sure they would come.

Until next time,
Susanne

Please check out my GoFundMe page.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020
I received an interesting call from the hospital last night. My phone rings most weeknights with an automated appointment confirmation call from my many cancer-related appointments. Last night, there was a nurse on the other end, and she started talking about how they had a patient who may have been treated at the same time as me… I am not going to lie, the first thought that ran through my brain was, “Really? I am going to be the first to die of coronavirus in the United States?”

The nurse went on to say the patient had tuberculosis and had been in the hospital, when I had been in the hospital, in 2019. Whew! Cancer will kill me after all… 950 days or more from now. (If I make it at least three years.) I asked the nurse if symptoms would have typically manifested themselves before now and she said, “Yes, but as a nurse I can only tell you that you need to get tested.” I asked her if it would be a blood test and when she said yes, I told her I could add it to my blood draw on Thursday. The nurse told me the order would be in the computer system as of today, so I can get the blood test any time.

My seven-year-old, Mika, is home sick again. I was going to send her to school because she looked much better this morning. Mika said she still did not feel good and I relented because it is very cold today, and I do not want to go get her from school if she needs to come back home. I am glad I kept Mika home today. She now has the one-two punch of tossing her cookies and diarrhea. Poor Mika! She started to feel a little better around noon, and came out of my room to say, “You know McDonald’s delivers, right?”

I smiled at Mika and told her there was not any chance in the world her mom was going to pay the fees associated with McDonald’s delivery and she needed to choose food we had in the house to eat. Mika replied that nothing tasted good because she was sick. She even turned down Cheetos. You know your child is really sick when they do not want to eat junk food.

About an hour later, Mika started having bad stomach cramps again and asked me to take her to the doctor. My helper the day before told me Mika might have the flu. I reminded my helper tummy troubles are not an influenza symptom and she said the news had reported there was a stomach flu going around. I called the doctor’s office to see if Mika could have caught a serious disease. I was told there is a strong stomach virus in the area, and to keep Mika hydrated and on the BRAT diet. My helper either misheard the newscaster or the newscaster misspoke. There is still no such thing as a stomach “flu”.

I did manage to get my planned work done since Mika stayed in my room watching cartoons on television most of the day. I had several of my “record yourself reading my journal entries on video for me to post on my YouTube channel” volunteers send me completed videos to edit, upload and schedule. I did six videos and tied up the Internet most of the day. Mika was happy to switch from cable to Netflix cartoons at 2:00.

I had convinced Mika Chili’s was a better food option than McDonald’s and told her I would call her dad at 2:30 p.m. and ask him to stop for take out on his way home from work. I was unable to hide my dismay when he came home early from work. He needed to update a security badge for one of the military bases, and it did not take as long as expected. No sick day Chili’s for us.

My piece of advice to you is to call the doctor before going in when possible. Stomach viruses usually do not require a trip to the doctor, and it is best to stay home to not spread germs. Mika made an effort to drink more after I told her what the doctor said and worried less because the doctor said her tummy troubles are likely not serious. Simply calling the doctor made Mika feel her concerns were validated.

Until next time,
Susanne

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Monday, February 24, 2020
Yesterday was not fun. I do not think I was out of bed for even two hours. I felt fine when I woke up and for a little while when I was up. Then my Achilles heel struck again! On a usual Sunday morning, I get out of bed and then my significant other, Donald, does the weekly grocery shopping. Donald is usually gone for about an hour. Yesterday that one hour felt like the longest hour of my life.

I started to feel queasy about ten minutes after Donald left. Twenty minutes later, I was ready to call it a day. I would have had my seven-year-old, Mika, open a grapefruit soda for me to drink to help settle my tummy, but Mika is still afraid to try to open them. It took Mika and me more than 15 minutes to open a soda the last time we did it so I decided I could wait until Donald got home from shopping for a soda.

The minutes stretched out endlessly it seemed. The knots in my stomach got bigger and the minutes got longer. Finally! Donald returned from grocery shopping. Of course, I could not ask Donald to take care of me until he and Mika brought in the groceries and put them away. Fifteen minutes after Donald returned, I could go back to bed and feel miserable instead of sitting in my chair and feeling more miserable.

I dozed a little in between drinks of the grapefruit soda Donald opened for me and about an hour later I was calling to Mika, “Mika, I need you right now! Mika, I need you right now! Mika, I need you right now!” Mika came in my room to give me a throw-up bucket and move my heater so I could roll over to get sick. When I was finished, Mika gave me back my heater and I dozed on and off for a couple more hours.

I can throw up and not need to go to the hospital! Okay, I barely threw up; it was mostly dry heaves, but I cannot describe the relief I feel knowing that I can once again get sick like a normal person and not be in an ambulance headed to the hospital a few hours later. It gets tiring wondering if any little ailment will kill you today. It makes me think of the first day I met Dr. Doom and Gloom and he basically told me I was going to die. If he treated my cancer one way, I could die. If he treated my cancer another way, I could die. Each treatment could kill me. I still like him, even if he thinks I am a delicate flower.

I did not believe Dr. Doom and Gloom then; I believe him now. I had enough complications when I was doing the slash and burn chemotherapy treatment, I now believe I could be a delicate flower. Okay, maybe not a delicate flower, but not indestructible as I like to say. At least I do not need to worry about coronavirus killing me since I am on a chemotherapy break as it is getting ready to spread across the United States.

I did drink three-quarters of a glass of milk before I went back to bed yesterday and grapefruit soda has some calories. Donald ordered pizza last night because he did not want to cook, and he ordered me chicken wings. I ate one chicken wing. I wanted to make sure the chicken did not upset my tummy. I also ate four or five grapes Those four items were all I had other than water yesterday. Today I am already on my third glass of milk. My tummy troubles are over. Unfortunately, Mika cannot say the same.

Mika started throwing up when she spent the night at her sister’s house last night and is home from school with me today. I am not sure if we suffered from the same issue because I was only sick for about five hours total and Mika has been sick for 12 hours so far.

My piece of advice to you is to look for the positive spin. I was sick yesterday so I can take care of Mika today. Both Donald and my older daughter called me today to make sure I was still feeling well enough to take care of Mika. I am fine and do not need help, but it made me feel special when they called to check on me.

Until next time,
Susanne

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