Tuesday, February 4, 2020
It is another snow day! Fortunately, it is a great day for a snow day because I did not have any activities other than work scheduled for today. My seven-year-old, Mika, and I get to kick back and relax at home. I like snow days with Mika when they fit neatly into my schedule. Mika is a little bummed because I grounded her from video games last night. Mika is grounded for a week because she has not been stopping her games when I tell her lately.
Mika is very dramatic and frequently tells me her life is awful because people are always mean to her. Mika has not yet learned to accept her role in how others treat her. Mika broke up with one of her friends two years ago. The friend, who is Mika’s age was playing with another girl who was five years older than they were and the two girls pranked Mika while she was there. Mika has still not forgiven that friend and she is easy to avoid because she does not go to Mika’s school.
Recently, a girl in Mika’s class has decided she does not like Mika. I get it. Mika is a control freak and always wants to be in charge. Mika’s control issues are part of the reason I have been working to build Mika’s YouTube channel. She could build that channel into an income stream she could control and never need to be an employee. It distresses Mika that this girl in school is not nice to her anymore and she sees her every day which keeps the feelings raw.
Last night, I told Mika to do her homework for the third time and raised my voice a little. Mika immediately bursts into tears and tells me how horrible her life is because her friend does not like her anymore and everyone treats her badly. I explained to her that she treats me very badly. Mika rarely does a task the first time I tell her; however, when her dad or sister tell her to do a task, she does it right away. I told Mika it hurts my feelings when she ignores what I tell her to do just because she does not want to do the task.
I have been trying lately to help Mika understand that if she does a task the first time she is asked, I will not raise my voice when telling her for the third or fourth time. I get it, it takes a while to grasp that concept. We moved to a one and one-half story house when I was in high school. My mother would fold and place our clean laundry on the stairs for us to take up with us one of the many times we went upstairs during a day. I walked past that laundry time and time again. Nobody except clean freaks like to do chores. I have been attempting to get Mika to embrace the concept of, “You make a mess; you clean a mess.’ So far it has been a total failure. We are constantly finding cheese wrappers strewn around from when Mika has snacks.
Our rule is that Mika must do her homework before she can use the computer after school, and she must quit using the computer one hour before bedtime. Mika can play with her toys or even watch Netflix on one of the televisions during that last hour, but computer time is over. The past couple of weeks Mika has been stretching her computer time by saying her game is not finished. “I promise it will only take five minutes.” has been a common refrain.
Last night, Mika went half an hour past computer time, and I told her that was the end. From today until next Monday, Mika is not allowed to play games on the computer. Mika can draw and watch YouTube videos, but games are out. So far today, Mika is following along with her grounding.
My piece of advice to you is to be mean to your children. Most children learn the hard way and we need to be that hard surface sometimes. I need to accept my part in this too. If I go stare at Mike when she is playing games instead of hanging by my heater, she closes her game sooner.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
It is another snow day! Fortunately, it is a great day for a snow day because I did not have any activities other than work scheduled for today. My seven-year-old, Mika, and I get to kick back and relax at home. I like snow days with Mika when they fit neatly into my schedule. Mika is a little bummed because I grounded her from video games last night. Mika is grounded for a week because she has not been stopping her games when I tell her lately.
Mika is very dramatic and frequently tells me her life is awful because people are always mean to her. Mika has not yet learned to accept her role in how others treat her. Mika broke up with one of her friends two years ago. The friend, who is Mika’s age was playing with another girl who was five years older than they were and the two girls pranked Mika while she was there. Mika has still not forgiven that friend and she is easy to avoid because she does not go to Mika’s school.
Recently, a girl in Mika’s class has decided she does not like Mika. I get it. Mika is a control freak and always wants to be in charge. Mika’s control issues are part of the reason I have been working to build Mika’s YouTube channel. She could build that channel into an income stream she could control and never need to be an employee. It distresses Mika that this girl in school is not nice to her anymore and she sees her every day which keeps the feelings raw.
Last night, I told Mika to do her homework for the third time and raised my voice a little. Mika immediately bursts into tears and tells me how horrible her life is because her friend does not like her anymore and everyone treats her badly. I explained to her that she treats me very badly. Mika rarely does a task the first time I tell her; however, when her dad or sister tell her to do a task, she does it right away. I told Mika it hurts my feelings when she ignores what I tell her to do just because she does not want to do the task.
I have been trying lately to help Mika understand that if she does a task the first time she is asked, I will not raise my voice when telling her for the third or fourth time. I get it, it takes a while to grasp that concept. We moved to a one and one-half story house when I was in high school. My mother would fold and place our clean laundry on the stairs for us to take up with us one of the many times we went upstairs during a day. I walked past that laundry time and time again. Nobody except clean freaks like to do chores. I have been attempting to get Mika to embrace the concept of, “You make a mess; you clean a mess.’ So far it has been a total failure. We are constantly finding cheese wrappers strewn around from when Mika has snacks.
Our rule is that Mika must do her homework before she can use the computer after school, and she must quit using the computer one hour before bedtime. Mika can play with her toys or even watch Netflix on one of the televisions during that last hour, but computer time is over. The past couple of weeks Mika has been stretching her computer time by saying her game is not finished. “I promise it will only take five minutes.” has been a common refrain.
Last night, Mika went half an hour past computer time, and I told her that was the end. From today until next Monday, Mika is not allowed to play games on the computer. Mika can draw and watch YouTube videos, but games are out. So far today, Mika is following along with her grounding.
My piece of advice to you is to be mean to your children. Most children learn the hard way and we need to be that hard surface sometimes. I need to accept my part in this too. If I go stare at Mike when she is playing games instead of hanging by my heater, she closes her game sooner.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.