Friday, March 6, 2020
I just got back from seeing Dr. Doom and Gloom. My significant other, Donald had the day off, so I needed to give him a synopsis of my visit almost as soon as I rolled in the door. I know Donald is upset by my short shelf life, and he probably would come with me to my appointments to get the news firsthand, if I would let him. My cancer treatment is a time-consuming process, and I am sure it will get more so before I expire. I am going to do as many of the appointments on my own as I can now, because there will come a time in which I will no longer be able to do many of the cancer tasks and appointments by myself, and I do not want that time to be draining for my family.
I received mostly good news from Dr. Doom and Gloom today. Unfortunately, my cancer is now visible again on the scans, which it was not back in August. Fortunately, Dr. Doom and Gloom said my cancer is still small. Dr. Doom and Gloom told me he was hoping I was going to say the exposed bone wound was the result of me making bad choices and not the chemotherapy drug, but I could not indulge him. I told Dr. Doom and Gloom my wounds had been steadily getting worse since we had started chemotherapy lite, until the new one opened to bone a few weeks ago.
Dr. Doom and Gloom, Candice the PA, and I discussed my treatment options. Option one, restart chemotherapy lite next week, and finish my cycles. That option was deemed too dangerous. Since the cancer is still small, Dr. Doom and Gloom said we have time to halt chemotherapy and let my wounds heal a little more. Option two, take a wound-healing break and then restart chemotherapy lite. Dr. Doom and Gloom said he was certain it was the chemotherapy drug specifically that was causing my skin issues. Both he and Candice the PA said my steroid dose was not large enough to affect wound healing to this degree. Option three, take a wound-healing break and then start a new chemotherapy drug.
We chose chemotherapy lite back in October because the other chemotherapy option has a common side effect of skin rashes. Today we decided skin rashes were better than skin holes and we are going with option three. (I feel like I am on an episode of Chemotherapy Hunters.) Now I need to come up with a journal name for my new chemotherapy. The best news I received from Dr. Doom and Gloom today was that my new chemotherapy is one day of a 28-day cycle. Four weeks between treatments! Woo hoo!
I was instructed to call Candice the PA after my next wound care appointment in two weeks to report progress and determine if we would extend my break further or start my new chemotherapy. I also remembered to ask for the results of my tuberculosis test and was told I am clear, as I expected.
I was not really anxious about today’s visit, but I did know the scans could have told a much more devastating story and I would have needed to scrap my three-year exceptional exit plan for a much shorter plan. Denial still gets to be my favorite friend and I may really get at least two more birthdays with my seven-year-old, Mika.
Mika has a day off school today for end of quarter and she wanted to me to record a video of one of her “acts” to music. She just asked me if I was going to be alive at Halloween, so I could post her video then. My heart fell out of my body. So much for keeping Mika in the dark about my fate. I need to have a real conversation with Mika already; I am not ready to say those words out loud to her.
My piece of advice to you is to accept good news when it comes your way. Yes, my cancer has grown; I knew that would happen. My cancer is still small, and Dr. Doom and Gloom is not telling me to make my final preparations; he also told me to note he was not all doom and gloom today.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
I just got back from seeing Dr. Doom and Gloom. My significant other, Donald had the day off, so I needed to give him a synopsis of my visit almost as soon as I rolled in the door. I know Donald is upset by my short shelf life, and he probably would come with me to my appointments to get the news firsthand, if I would let him. My cancer treatment is a time-consuming process, and I am sure it will get more so before I expire. I am going to do as many of the appointments on my own as I can now, because there will come a time in which I will no longer be able to do many of the cancer tasks and appointments by myself, and I do not want that time to be draining for my family.
I received mostly good news from Dr. Doom and Gloom today. Unfortunately, my cancer is now visible again on the scans, which it was not back in August. Fortunately, Dr. Doom and Gloom said my cancer is still small. Dr. Doom and Gloom told me he was hoping I was going to say the exposed bone wound was the result of me making bad choices and not the chemotherapy drug, but I could not indulge him. I told Dr. Doom and Gloom my wounds had been steadily getting worse since we had started chemotherapy lite, until the new one opened to bone a few weeks ago.
Dr. Doom and Gloom, Candice the PA, and I discussed my treatment options. Option one, restart chemotherapy lite next week, and finish my cycles. That option was deemed too dangerous. Since the cancer is still small, Dr. Doom and Gloom said we have time to halt chemotherapy and let my wounds heal a little more. Option two, take a wound-healing break and then restart chemotherapy lite. Dr. Doom and Gloom said he was certain it was the chemotherapy drug specifically that was causing my skin issues. Both he and Candice the PA said my steroid dose was not large enough to affect wound healing to this degree. Option three, take a wound-healing break and then start a new chemotherapy drug.
We chose chemotherapy lite back in October because the other chemotherapy option has a common side effect of skin rashes. Today we decided skin rashes were better than skin holes and we are going with option three. (I feel like I am on an episode of Chemotherapy Hunters.) Now I need to come up with a journal name for my new chemotherapy. The best news I received from Dr. Doom and Gloom today was that my new chemotherapy is one day of a 28-day cycle. Four weeks between treatments! Woo hoo!
I was instructed to call Candice the PA after my next wound care appointment in two weeks to report progress and determine if we would extend my break further or start my new chemotherapy. I also remembered to ask for the results of my tuberculosis test and was told I am clear, as I expected.
I was not really anxious about today’s visit, but I did know the scans could have told a much more devastating story and I would have needed to scrap my three-year exceptional exit plan for a much shorter plan. Denial still gets to be my favorite friend and I may really get at least two more birthdays with my seven-year-old, Mika.
Mika has a day off school today for end of quarter and she wanted to me to record a video of one of her “acts” to music. She just asked me if I was going to be alive at Halloween, so I could post her video then. My heart fell out of my body. So much for keeping Mika in the dark about my fate. I need to have a real conversation with Mika already; I am not ready to say those words out loud to her.
My piece of advice to you is to accept good news when it comes your way. Yes, my cancer has grown; I knew that would happen. My cancer is still small, and Dr. Doom and Gloom is not telling me to make my final preparations; he also told me to note he was not all doom and gloom today.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.