Friday, October 11, 2019
Two days ago, I attended an event for one of the business-women’s networking groups I belong to. I have been a member of this networking group for 13 or 14 years and, until the past year while dealing with my illness, missed very few of the monthly networking events. I have met hundreds of people during those events and many of them I call my friends.
I had a display table at this past event to show off my books available for purchase in hopes attendees might purchase them for themselves or for gifts with the holidays on the horizon. Table vendors get a minute in front of the room to tell the attendees what they are offering at their tables and my intention was to talk about my new scrapbook to track the marketing ideas of business owners.
Six days before the event, I had my appointment with my oncologist and he told me I had reached my best if used by date, my cancer is not curable, and cancer will likely be my cause of death (or complications thereof). Wow! Talk about a readjustment. It was that day I decided I need to create my exceptional exit plan and a big part of that is living the life I have left.
I have a lot of people who care for me and want to know what is going on in my life; however, the idea of telling so many people individually how cancer is affecting me is not my idea of quality of life. I am happy to share, but I would really like to not be thinking of cancer all the time.
I pondered on whether to use my time in front of the room to talk about my books or my prognosis until Wednesday morning. I knew my cancer status announcement would bring down the mood of the room and I did not want to do that; however, I could not face the idea of telling my story over and over and over. I got in front of the room and told everyone I had a terminal diagnosis, I would be writing about it, and I did not want anyone asking me about my feelings.
It was as bad as it sounds. I just told everyone I was not kicking cancer’s butt and my announcement brought the temperament way down. There were shocked faces and tears, and (of course) I told them to quit crying. I felt particularly sorry for the speaker who had to follow me and talk about sales to a bunch of sad business people. I think she did a great job, especially considering the pall hanging over the room.
After the event, one of my friends came to me and said, “What a way to set boundaries.” I had not even thought about my announcement in that way, but that is exactly what I did. When you see me in real life; I do not want to always be talking about my cancer so ask me about another topic. If you want to know about my cancer journey and exceptional exit plan, read my journal.
My piece of advice to you is to set boundaries in your life. Are you bringing your work home with you? Do you own your own business and feel like you can never quit working? Does your mother expect you to call her to talk for an hour every day? Your life is YOUR life; do not give it away.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
Two days ago, I attended an event for one of the business-women’s networking groups I belong to. I have been a member of this networking group for 13 or 14 years and, until the past year while dealing with my illness, missed very few of the monthly networking events. I have met hundreds of people during those events and many of them I call my friends.
I had a display table at this past event to show off my books available for purchase in hopes attendees might purchase them for themselves or for gifts with the holidays on the horizon. Table vendors get a minute in front of the room to tell the attendees what they are offering at their tables and my intention was to talk about my new scrapbook to track the marketing ideas of business owners.
Six days before the event, I had my appointment with my oncologist and he told me I had reached my best if used by date, my cancer is not curable, and cancer will likely be my cause of death (or complications thereof). Wow! Talk about a readjustment. It was that day I decided I need to create my exceptional exit plan and a big part of that is living the life I have left.
I have a lot of people who care for me and want to know what is going on in my life; however, the idea of telling so many people individually how cancer is affecting me is not my idea of quality of life. I am happy to share, but I would really like to not be thinking of cancer all the time.
I pondered on whether to use my time in front of the room to talk about my books or my prognosis until Wednesday morning. I knew my cancer status announcement would bring down the mood of the room and I did not want to do that; however, I could not face the idea of telling my story over and over and over. I got in front of the room and told everyone I had a terminal diagnosis, I would be writing about it, and I did not want anyone asking me about my feelings.
It was as bad as it sounds. I just told everyone I was not kicking cancer’s butt and my announcement brought the temperament way down. There were shocked faces and tears, and (of course) I told them to quit crying. I felt particularly sorry for the speaker who had to follow me and talk about sales to a bunch of sad business people. I think she did a great job, especially considering the pall hanging over the room.
After the event, one of my friends came to me and said, “What a way to set boundaries.” I had not even thought about my announcement in that way, but that is exactly what I did. When you see me in real life; I do not want to always be talking about my cancer so ask me about another topic. If you want to know about my cancer journey and exceptional exit plan, read my journal.
My piece of advice to you is to set boundaries in your life. Are you bringing your work home with you? Do you own your own business and feel like you can never quit working? Does your mother expect you to call her to talk for an hour every day? Your life is YOUR life; do not give it away.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.