Saturday, November 30, 2019
“I am going to start taking kisses away from your payment if you do not go fill up that bowl.” My older daughter, Megan, said this to my younger daughter, Mika, last night. Megan and Mika have a favor payment system. When Megan asks for a favor, she offers Mika a number of hugs and/or kisses. Going upstairs to get Megan a water glass might get Mika a hug and two kisses.
Mika and I do not have the same system. I tell Mika what to do and she had better do it (if only it actually worked that way in real life instead of repeating myself three times). I am slightly envious of their cute system and wish I had thought of it. I did not implement the same system with Mika after Megan did because I wanted them to have something special to keep for themselves.
Mika and Megan have a great relationship and I know that bond will help Mika after I pass. Until a few months ago, Megan has lived with us all of Mika’s life. Megan is still at our house everyday because she is one of my paid caregivers. Megan is now having Mika sleep over at her house on Sunday nights so that they still get sister time together.
Mika does not have a strong relationship with her brother, Marcus. He had moved out years before she was born. They are both dragon babies, born 24 years apart. I am sure Marcus did not feel the need to try to build a strong bond because he was so far removed from our nuclear family. They talk (and sometimes play) when we do extended family events, but Mika has never asked to call Marcus to say hi.
I have four sisters and two brothers and there are only 11 years from top to bottom, so we always had a playmate as small children. I do not have a particularly strong bond with any of my brothers or sisters. I love them all and care about their wellbeing, but I never call or write, and, except for my youngest sister, my brothers and sisters are pretty much the same way. I had a pleasant-enough childhood, but we were not a hugs and kisses type family.
I think that is why I like to watch Mika and Megan together so much. I do not wish for that type of relationship with my brothers or sisters any more than I want a relationship like the ones in the cheesy romance movies. However, I do appreciate that others do like that type of relationship with their siblings and I encourage it with Megan and Mika.
That does not mean that I do not give Mika (and Megan still) hugs and kisses. When Mika gets up in the morning, she comes to me for her good morning hug and kiss. I get a goodbye hug and kiss when I drop her off at school. We have our do you know I love you game. Those are our special moments and I want her to have special moments with her sister too.
My piece of advice to you is reach out to those you love. I am still feeling healthy despite the whole terminal cancer thing, so I have not sent out the death alarm and told my brothers and sisters to come visit me or they might miss their chance. I told my parents they should plan to come visit me this summer (just in case), my directly-younger sister and her family will probably visit me in the spring and fall, and my youngest sister is planning three trips this year to visit me because she gets flex time at her job.
I plan to enjoy every one of those visits and will welcome others if more of my family wants to come. Unfortunately, I still will not call them once they leave.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
“I am going to start taking kisses away from your payment if you do not go fill up that bowl.” My older daughter, Megan, said this to my younger daughter, Mika, last night. Megan and Mika have a favor payment system. When Megan asks for a favor, she offers Mika a number of hugs and/or kisses. Going upstairs to get Megan a water glass might get Mika a hug and two kisses.
Mika and I do not have the same system. I tell Mika what to do and she had better do it (if only it actually worked that way in real life instead of repeating myself three times). I am slightly envious of their cute system and wish I had thought of it. I did not implement the same system with Mika after Megan did because I wanted them to have something special to keep for themselves.
Mika and Megan have a great relationship and I know that bond will help Mika after I pass. Until a few months ago, Megan has lived with us all of Mika’s life. Megan is still at our house everyday because she is one of my paid caregivers. Megan is now having Mika sleep over at her house on Sunday nights so that they still get sister time together.
Mika does not have a strong relationship with her brother, Marcus. He had moved out years before she was born. They are both dragon babies, born 24 years apart. I am sure Marcus did not feel the need to try to build a strong bond because he was so far removed from our nuclear family. They talk (and sometimes play) when we do extended family events, but Mika has never asked to call Marcus to say hi.
I have four sisters and two brothers and there are only 11 years from top to bottom, so we always had a playmate as small children. I do not have a particularly strong bond with any of my brothers or sisters. I love them all and care about their wellbeing, but I never call or write, and, except for my youngest sister, my brothers and sisters are pretty much the same way. I had a pleasant-enough childhood, but we were not a hugs and kisses type family.
I think that is why I like to watch Mika and Megan together so much. I do not wish for that type of relationship with my brothers or sisters any more than I want a relationship like the ones in the cheesy romance movies. However, I do appreciate that others do like that type of relationship with their siblings and I encourage it with Megan and Mika.
That does not mean that I do not give Mika (and Megan still) hugs and kisses. When Mika gets up in the morning, she comes to me for her good morning hug and kiss. I get a goodbye hug and kiss when I drop her off at school. We have our do you know I love you game. Those are our special moments and I want her to have special moments with her sister too.
My piece of advice to you is reach out to those you love. I am still feeling healthy despite the whole terminal cancer thing, so I have not sent out the death alarm and told my brothers and sisters to come visit me or they might miss their chance. I told my parents they should plan to come visit me this summer (just in case), my directly-younger sister and her family will probably visit me in the spring and fall, and my youngest sister is planning three trips this year to visit me because she gets flex time at her job.
I plan to enjoy every one of those visits and will welcome others if more of my family wants to come. Unfortunately, I still will not call them once they leave.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.