Thursday, November 21, 2019
I was a precocious child. I could read well at age five, so my parents put me in first grade instead of kindergarten. I was not a genius, but I was a “smart” kid. School was always easy for me and I learn well from the written word. To this day, I would rather read to learn than watch to learn.
In sixth grade I decided girls were stupid and told my art teacher so. She pointed out that I was a girl and did that statement not make ME stupid also. I explained I was obviously not a stupid girl because I actually used logic when I thought. I told her of my friend who was mad at another girl for talking to her boyfriend. Why is she mad at the girl? I mused. She should be mad at her boyfriend for flirting with another girl. He is the one in the relationship.
In sixth grade I had figured out why many women find relationships with other women difficult (perhaps I was a genius after all). Self-confidence. You might have thought logic would have been my Spock-adoring answer, however I realized my friend was not secure about her relationship with this boy and that is why she blamed the girl. "She is prettier, smarter, sluttier (not in sixth grade) than me so my boyfriend will choose her instead of me."
I was raised in time when women were valued less for their intelligence. I was not held back as a woman, because other women led the way a decade before I entered adulthood; however, we were still primarily raised to be working housewives and considered by a lot of men as toys for their amusement. I was not raised that way. We were raised to be strong, independent adults whether we be girl or boy. Six out of seven have done a reasonably decent job of becoming strong, independent adults.
I cannot speak for my brothers or sisters, but I do not ever remember my parents telling me I was not good enough to do any task. They did tell me we did not have money to pay for “advantages” and they told me I could do better if I worked harder, but they never made me not feel good enough. I have amazing self-confidence. I am certain that is a combination of personality and my parents. I do not know if all my bothers and sisters think they are as amazing as I think I am. They should.
I have tried to keep that positive vibe alive for my children. They are amazing and they each have different skills. I tell them when I think they are great. I also tell them when they are not exceptional. My son, Marcus, is book-smart like me. Unfortunately, I could not get him to do homework in high school and he almost did not graduate. Marcus is a hard worker and I am proud of the man he has become.
My older daughter, Megan, became a great saver so she could buy a house on her income. She is a perfectionist so follow through is not her strong point. I am proud to watch her make her dream of home ownership a reality knowing the commitment that task requires. Megan loves to sing and does sing much better than me, however she has an average voice, so I do not tell her she is an amazing singer.
My seven-year-old, Mika, likes making her YouTube videos. This year she has become a very good reader. She seems to have a natural talent for the piano. Her sister did too, but we let piano lesson fall to the wayside too soon for that to become a huge passion for Megan. Soon Mika will try activities she is not good at and it will be my job, as mom, to keep her focus on the activities that match her skills.
My piece of advice to you is to accept you the way you are. You are pretty amazing even if you will never be a contestant on Jeopardy.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.
I was a precocious child. I could read well at age five, so my parents put me in first grade instead of kindergarten. I was not a genius, but I was a “smart” kid. School was always easy for me and I learn well from the written word. To this day, I would rather read to learn than watch to learn.
In sixth grade I decided girls were stupid and told my art teacher so. She pointed out that I was a girl and did that statement not make ME stupid also. I explained I was obviously not a stupid girl because I actually used logic when I thought. I told her of my friend who was mad at another girl for talking to her boyfriend. Why is she mad at the girl? I mused. She should be mad at her boyfriend for flirting with another girl. He is the one in the relationship.
In sixth grade I had figured out why many women find relationships with other women difficult (perhaps I was a genius after all). Self-confidence. You might have thought logic would have been my Spock-adoring answer, however I realized my friend was not secure about her relationship with this boy and that is why she blamed the girl. "She is prettier, smarter, sluttier (not in sixth grade) than me so my boyfriend will choose her instead of me."
I was raised in time when women were valued less for their intelligence. I was not held back as a woman, because other women led the way a decade before I entered adulthood; however, we were still primarily raised to be working housewives and considered by a lot of men as toys for their amusement. I was not raised that way. We were raised to be strong, independent adults whether we be girl or boy. Six out of seven have done a reasonably decent job of becoming strong, independent adults.
I cannot speak for my brothers or sisters, but I do not ever remember my parents telling me I was not good enough to do any task. They did tell me we did not have money to pay for “advantages” and they told me I could do better if I worked harder, but they never made me not feel good enough. I have amazing self-confidence. I am certain that is a combination of personality and my parents. I do not know if all my bothers and sisters think they are as amazing as I think I am. They should.
I have tried to keep that positive vibe alive for my children. They are amazing and they each have different skills. I tell them when I think they are great. I also tell them when they are not exceptional. My son, Marcus, is book-smart like me. Unfortunately, I could not get him to do homework in high school and he almost did not graduate. Marcus is a hard worker and I am proud of the man he has become.
My older daughter, Megan, became a great saver so she could buy a house on her income. She is a perfectionist so follow through is not her strong point. I am proud to watch her make her dream of home ownership a reality knowing the commitment that task requires. Megan loves to sing and does sing much better than me, however she has an average voice, so I do not tell her she is an amazing singer.
My seven-year-old, Mika, likes making her YouTube videos. This year she has become a very good reader. She seems to have a natural talent for the piano. Her sister did too, but we let piano lesson fall to the wayside too soon for that to become a huge passion for Megan. Soon Mika will try activities she is not good at and it will be my job, as mom, to keep her focus on the activities that match her skills.
My piece of advice to you is to accept you the way you are. You are pretty amazing even if you will never be a contestant on Jeopardy.
Until next time,
Susanne
Please check out my GoFundMe page.